I need to know why

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by belladonna88, Feb 7, 2013.

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  1. belladonna88

    belladonna88 Member

    I really need to know why my boyfriend left me. It's killing me inside, and i know i will probably never get an answer, i just need to know. We Had been Friends for seven years. When we meet when we were teenagers, he wanted to be with me, but i wasn't interested in dating him back then, i was in love with someone else, i think i hurt him badly. We didn't talk for around a year, but when we did again, we became close friends again. I tried to kill myself five years ago, and he was there for me. Years went by and i started to fall for him, realising what a great person he was, he had always been there for me, i loved him so much, but he got a girlfriend. We stayed friends, but i secretly was in love with him for three years. I would cry at night because i wanted him so much. When his girlfriend left him, i knew i had to tell him how i felt and i did. He said he felt the same way, he even said he felt like he was in the wrong relationship when he was with his ex and he had always loved me. Maybe i was too naive, so love stuck and wanted him so much, i would believe anything. We were finally together and i felt at peace for the first time in years. We were together for a very short while,only a few weeks, but it was the friendship and the fact i had been in love with him for three years prior that it felt like we had been together for much longer. I felt so comfortable around him, and so happy.

    He told me things like he wanted to move in with me, he even seemed to have planned it out. He told me he had so much devotion for me, and love and that he would love me forever. I feel like a child believing all that crap. We slept together and sortly after, after becoming distant and not contacting me much, he left me. He just sent a text message telling me he couldn't do it anymore. I tried contacting him after for a few days, but he never replied. He blocked me from facebook, compleatly took me out of his life, and i am left here with seven years of memory's i can't erase, I cry every day still, and keep wondering why i wasn't good enough for him, why he said all those things, why?? I am so confused. I don't want to get obsessed with obtaining an answer, because i know i won't get one. I want to move on, i feel so deceived and hurt that the person i thought i knew wasn't who i thought he was. It hurts so much knowing he really doesn't care. Doesn't care about all the years we knew each other. How could he just throw me out his life and forget about me like that? I am in so much pain.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is not you hun it was him He could not survive in a relationship not yours nor his ex girlfriend hun he is not comfortable with something inside himself
    He tried hun what he did was wrong texting you It would have been better for him to talk to you but again that was him hun he could not find the strength to do the right thing.
    He has move on now who knows where so you have to move forward If you cannot hun then get some help ok get a therapist to help you move past this.
    Again hun the problem was not you it was him h ugs
     
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm so sorry you're feeling so much pain. Things like that hurt so much. :hug: From what you've written, it seems he doesn't really know who he is or what he wants in life. It seems cowardly of him to text you rather than face you in person! He has passed up a great person in you. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you the way you care about him. I know you hurt now. It will eventually stop hurting and then you can open your heart again and find someone who is worth your time, love, and caring. In the mean time, I hope you will let us support you. :)
     
  4. belladonna88

    belladonna88 Member

    Thanks for the reply's. My mood seems to go up and down. For a while i felt like i was able to stop thinking about him, but the last few days all i do is think about him. I feel like i'm still at the point where i'm still hoping he will contact me and ask for me back. I know that is pathetic, but it's keeping me going. I'm not sure if i've 100% accepted that it's over. I don't want to always be waiting for him, and run back to him if he ever does contact me, i don't want to be treated that way, but honestly if he did, i think i'd be too weak right now and i would just run back to him :(
     
  5. guage

    guage Well-Known Member

    He took the friendship for granted and actually there was never a friendship, it seems like what I have seen some of my associates do and I really hate to say it but he acted to be your friend and said everything you wanted to hear to be able to get over his ex . I apologize for him. Its douche bags like that that make it so hard for the rest of us that are sincere, and im not saying that you might not but you're probably not gonna believe the sincere guy that you meet . I for one am glad that you are still here to post these threads, I am very new to this site, this is the third thread that I have read it has helped me cope a little , knowing that I might be able to share something useful, from all the bs I have been through and have seen. I hope that might be at least a little helpful. Sorry it the exact cure all , but maybe help you understand the eau that guy was thinking.
     
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Sounds to me like he was just using you. Having read through what he had done, he befriended you, played on your vulnerable heart strings, then soon after you sleep together he ditched you because he'd got what he wanted.

    You deserve better than that kind of person, whether a friend only or as more. Over 7 years people can change a fair bit, but we don't always see that when in love. 'love is blind' is the phrase, you may have missed him changing or been too smitten to notice. Being naive/gullible I understand, but letting his decision to leave you affect you says he still has control over your heart.

    It's a hard one. But you have to start somewhere with forgetting about him as its counter productive for you to stew on questions that the chances of answers from are barely nothing.
     
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