I really hate myself

[sadhart]

sadhart can you imagine how you would treat a friend going through this same thing? Would you crap all over them for not doing perfectly, or just give them credit for showing up.

Showing up is half of life. Maybe think about how you wish things had gone differently, and what you would do next time. And then let it go because it's over and nobody is perfect.

Taking risks is important. How things turn out is not important. Be your own best friend and treat yourself with the kindness and respect you would a friend.

I feel hypocritical trying to tell someone not to feel bad. It's why I rarely do so on here nowadays. Because it is really hard to see my worth when I am constantly reminded of so many negative and painful things. I am sorry for constantly being negative. I decided not to go to work today. I woke up and just felt so much heaviness and anxiety in me. I am so tired of feeling this way. I just want to give up.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry things are so bad Sadhart

 

[sadhart]

I'm sorry things are so bad Sadhart

Don't be. Want to take a guess how my day went? It has been a shitty week so far. You know, sometimes, I forget how bad the relapse was six years ago and just want to throw my farce of a sobriety away.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Don't be. Want to take a guess how my day went? It has been a shitty week so far. You know, sometimes, I forget how bad the relapse was six years ago and just want to throw my farce of a sobriety away.

Don't be. Want to take a guess how my day went? It has been a shitty week so far. You know, sometimes, I forget how bad the relapse was six years ago and just want to throw my farce of a sobriety away.

Don't do it. No matter how bad things are they can always get worse. If you can hang on to sobriety and go to meetings maybe it will help to have some in-person support.

My point in giving the example of a friend was not that you would tell them not to feel bad, but that you wouldn't be so hard on them. We are hard on oursleves when we would never be so mean and judgmental to friend. My point is to treat yourself with decency and kindness

 

[sadhart]

Don't do it. No matter how bad things are they can always get worse. If you can hang on to sobriety and go to meetings maybe it will help to have some in-person support.

My point in giving the example of a friend was not that you would tell them not to feel bad, but that you wouldn't be so hard on them. We are hard on oursleves when we would never be so mean and judgmental to friend. My point is to treat yourself with decency and kindness

I know and I haven't done it. But in person meetings is a bit hard at the moment.

Part of the reason I'm hard on myself is because of being told so many hurtful things. And then being told how those things are the truth and the truth always hurts just leaves this feeling of powerlessness. Sorry if I already mentioned that. But even without others, there is still me and it's hard to ignore my own doubts and inadequacies, like with this week so far.

 

[may71]

just want to throw my farce of a sobriety away.

Your sobriety is not a farce. It's an extraordinary achievement, it's just that sobriety alone is clearly not enough for you to be happy.

I guess it's like climbing halfway, or more than half way up a mountain.

 

[sadhart]

Your sobriety is not a farce. It's an extraordinary achievement, it's just that sobriety alone is clearly not enough for you to be happy.

I guess it's like climbing halfway, or more than half way up a mountain.

Yeah. Some people seem to think my sobriety or my job or my apartment means my life is good and without problems when that isn't the case at all. I mean I'm grateful or I try to be, but I can't ignore the painful voids I feel.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

I know and I haven't done it. But in person meetings is a bit hard at the moment.

Part of the reason I'm hard on myself is because of being told so many hurtful things. And then being told how those things are the truth and the truth always hurts just leaves this feeling of powerlessness. Sorry if I already mentioned that. But even without others, there is still me and it's hard to ignore my own doubts and inadequacies, like with this week so far.

Who is telling you these things?

I've learned to look at the intent of the speaker - if they are genuinely caring and concerned, that's one thing, but most people who tell you hurtful things have their own agenda and you should dismiss what they say. Nobody has the right to judge you.