I really just don't care anymore....

My grades are slipping, I absolutely detest school, I'm way too lenient towards others, and I feel lonely. Literally the ONLY interaction I get with people is at school, and I suppress my feelings when talking to anyone there. I rarely talk to my parents, and when I do it's about nothing and not a very long conversation. I pretty much hate everything right now. I just gave twenty dollars to a guy for a program he is doing to get into college, and my family here is low on money and I'm not going to tell anyone I did it, but I know it's going to come back to bite me in the end. Ah, ok I'm done, I just don't know what to say anymore. I could type for days, but there is stuff I'm never going to tell anyone, and it's just getting pent up....

 

Dear Moose;

I'm sorry you're in such unpleasant circumstances right now.:sad: Have you even considered counseling and/or medication? I am doing both and find them helpful, together and separately. The meds keep me on an even keel, and the counseling allows me to tell my innermost feelings to someone who's still paying for his/her extensive schooling. If you haven't considered it, it may be time to think about it, or about some alternative to such a destructive lifestyle. Please give it some thought. Also, we're here all the time - some of us - to lean on or talk to.:smile: PLease come here to vent or ask for hugs and support, as we have that in abundance.:smile:

love and hugs and hope,

least

 

Thanks, but see I refuse to take medications, and I will never talk to a counselor... my sister did it, and I'm not on good grounds with her because some of it. I pretty much do it to myself. I would go to my friends, but its like this; I've always been there to help my friends, most of which I met were like this constantly and I apparently were their "go-to-guy" when they felt like this, and now I try to tell them the way I feel and they say 'you're an idiot' or 'that's stupid, don't be emo', and it just feels like they have turned their backs on me. I refuse to do the self-injury thing, I've known lots of people that did it and I hate it, I was always there to try and help my friends when they wanted to or did do it, and I guess that's why I hate it; because I see no point. I will just up and kill myself one day I guess. I really appreciate the suggestions though, but I have my reasons for disregarding them.

 

Counceling and medication does work...when you have the right combination. If something doesn't work, you move on and try something else. I still have days when I want to find someplace quiet and scream.I know how you feel a little about being there for people and then they turn their back on you. My own family did that once I "outlived" my usefulness to them. I wasnt going to let them get over on me anymore, so they abandoned me.I've been "homeless" almost 5 years now. In September, I finally got into a more stable situation,and things are starting to work again. I think alot about a friend of mine who"didn't make it"( his birthday is the 27th, and he would have been 21:sadand I see all the changes I have made since then,myself. Things will get better for you too. In time, if you let it happen,and help it along a little, your life will get much better