Empathy and Advice Welcomed I think i may have full blown psychosis...

[SummertimeSadness]

Im ngl since last year living in Los Angeles I've been through enough trauma to cause me to catch me a life sentence 😂😂

These past few MONTHS, I was under heavy pressure and going through stress, trauma and ALOTNof mental issues in which the state couldn't even help me properly until I moved out of California. And started taking all natural abilify and I noticed a VERY huge difference in my behavior. This is sad.


Recently going through shit with my boyfriend (YEA IK HE WONT LEAVE ME ALONE)
I relapsed recently and was zoning off one night at my saints altar and for some reason I was very drawn to it that night

Idk why this happened to me but I went into a full episode.

I zoned completely out. Enough to where I could hear a voice whispering in my ear for 45 mins straight. In Spanish

Now I don't speak Spanish but somehow I understood everything this being was saying to me.

Its not scary to me it's actually quite intriguing (bc I dont even think it is psychosis lol I think im just sensitive to spirits but I'll say psychotic for department of mental health sake 😒)

My previous diagnosis was PTSD and bipolar
Recently however I went to the hospital bc my ex put me in there (fucker lol)

They gave me possible psychosis. But idk.

And i dont mean to sound like crazy person or anything but am I the only one who finds the voices in their head kinda fun to listen to sometimes??

Like you hear somebody speaking another weird random language but your in Mississippi 😂😂😂

Lmaoo I'm sorry ik posting something like this should be concerning but I actually find this interesting lol.

Like I said I don't even I have psychosis it might just be some weird gift of talking to ones who have passed over bc these voices I hear aren't random. I recognize them. And yes they have all passed already.


(And if anyone has anything to say about this feel free to share i always like new opinions x)

 

[1Lefty]

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. My episodes were frightening and completely disorienting.

I had hallucinations, I saw people stealing from my neighbor's shed and even called the police, but the officer found no shed.
Most of mine were auditory were auditory though. Sometimes it was weird but not terrible, like hearing an aunt and cousins voices coming from the crawlspace under the house.
The worst and scariest was when I heard people threatening to steal my car. That was part of a really bad event that had family members insisting I went into a psych hospital. I was on an anti-psychotic medication for several years, but I'm not taking it anymore, getting the right dose of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer seems to have helped me.

i wish you the best,

peace

 

[LumberJack]

I loved the Madness video. I was in the scene through the third wave of ska, bands like Mustard Plug and Let’s Go Bowling. I think I saw The Toasters 4 times, because that’s how many shirts I bought from the merch tables, lol. I also saw Rancid before they got huge. Back then they sounded kind of like if Operation Ivy formed a NoFx cover band….

I am pretty sure Madness was second wave, though. It was mostly centered in the UK , and like that video, very fun and not taking anything too seriously. It was sort of where Jamaican (1st wave) came up against the British working class by way of both groups were unloading ships in the docks. IDK, I read all this in a ‘zine at one point or another and I might be remembering it wrong. However I remember the first time I saw a band in the scene with a horn section, and as a jazz bassist originally I thought that was cool.

I am not sure if that’s what you were asking about, but the video is right under the phrasing about anyone having anything to say about it, lol.

I have no expertise in the field of hallucinations.

OTOH, I could pass a final exam in Alexander Shulgin’s class if there was one.

Nonetheless , I would expect that it’s not unheard of for some people to be mildly entertained by auditory hallucinations. However, as @1Lefty mentioned, I think they can also be terrifying or anywhere between. If I were in a similar situation, I’d enjoy the voices, but if they ever started telling me that I am a prophet of god, or that I should poison neighborhood pets, then I would seek treatment for that.

I don’t have hallucinations myself, but sometimes I will hear music from far away and I try to find out where it’s coming from. It’s always a ventilation fan or air conditioning, in other words, a huge white noise generator.

Sometimes I hear symphonies that are amazing, as if it was Beethoven’s work that somehow was lost to history. If I could transcribe from those, I would be in a very different position. The symphonies that only I hear are so good that I wish I was able to share them with everyone.

 

[SummertimeSadness]

I loved the Madness video. I was in the scene through the third wave of ska, bands like Mustard Plug and Let’s Go Bowling. I think I saw The Toasters 4 times, because that’s how many shirts I bought from the merch tables, lol. I also saw Rancid before they got huge. Back then they sounded kind of like if Operation Ivy formed a NoFx cover band….

I am pretty sure Madness was second wave, though. It was mostly centered in the UK , and like that video, very fun and not taking anything too seriously. It was sort of where Jamaican (1st wave) came up against the British working class by way of both groups were unloading ships in the docks. IDK, I read all this in a ‘zine at one point or another and I might be remembering it wrong. However I remember the first time I saw a band in the scene with a horn section, and as a jazz bassist originally I thought that was cool.

I am not sure if that’s what you were asking about, but the video is right under the phrasing about anyone having anything to say about it, lol.

I have no expertise in the field of hallucinations.

OTOH, I could pass a final exam in Alexander Shulgin’s class if there was one.

Nonetheless , I would expect that it’s not unheard of for some people to be mildly entertained by auditory hallucinations. However, as @1Lefty mentioned, I think they can also be terrifying or anywhere between. If I were in a similar situation, I’d enjoy the voices, but if they ever started telling me that I am a prophet of god, or that I should poison neighborhood pets, then I would seek treatment for that.

I don’t have hallucinations myself, but sometimes I will hear music from far away and I try to find out where it’s coming from. It’s always a ventilation fan or air conditioning, in other words, a huge white noise generator.

Sometimes I hear symphonies that are amazing, as if it was Beethoven’s work that somehow was lost to history. If I could transcribe from those, I would be in a very different position. The symphonies that only I hear are so good that I wish I was able to share them with everyone.

I thought i was the only one who heard music too! When I was younger i used to hear violins in my ear while trying to sleep and I was like what the hell IS MOZART IN MY HOUSE?😂😂

 

[SummertimeSadness]

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. My episodes were frightening and completely disorienting.

I had hallucinations, I saw people stealing from my neighbor's shed and even called the police, but the officer found no shed.
Most of mine were auditory were auditory though. Sometimes it was weird but not terrible, like hearing an aunt and cousins voices coming from the crawlspace under the house.
The worst and scariest was when I heard people threatening to steal my car. That was part of a really bad event that had family members insisting I went into a psych hospital. I was on an anti-psychotic medication for several years, but I'm not taking it anymore, getting the right dose of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer seems to have helped me.

i wish you the best,

peace

The voice that was speaking to me was in complete Spanish.

I dont speak Spanish nor can I understand it but for some reason I understood everything it was saying lmao

Psychosis is crazy

 

[SummertimeSadness]

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. My episodes were frightening and completely disorienting.

I had hallucinations, I saw people stealing from my neighbor's shed and even called the police, but the officer found no shed.
Most of mine were auditory were auditory though. Sometimes it was weird but not terrible, like hearing an aunt and cousins voices coming from the crawlspace under the house.
The worst and scariest was when I heard people threatening to steal my car. That was part of a really bad event that had family members insisting I went into a psych hospital. I was on an anti-psychotic medication for several years, but I'm not taking it anymore, getting the right dose of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer seems to have helped me.

i wish you the best,

peace

I'm so sorry you have this issue as well hun..

I really feel for people who have schizophrenia bc when mine started up all I wanted to do was jump out the window lol
I was going nuts myself and I saw why people end up in psych hospitals

I did about 10 times...

But tbh I find my case of psychosis fun 😅....

I'm sorry to say that 🥹usually kids my age would say they're scared or something but no this is really interesting to experiencing for a 20 year old female... hm

And its not scary or as bad as people think it is

It literally just feels like im talking to a ghost

 

[SummertimeSadness]

But then again, it actually could be a ghost and im mistaking it for psychosis.

I was a c section

And i read that can cause the child to grow up with psychosis bc I wasn't born properly or some shit idk


Bc before I relapsed and I had that full blown trip even, I was staying at some dudes trailer and I almost feel asleep and I heard another soft spoken voice in English telling me to get tf out

I found out the dude was racist as hell

 

[LumberJack]

I thought i was the only one who heard music too! When I was younger i used to hear violins in my ear while trying to sleep and I was like what the hell IS MOZART IN MY HOUSE?😂😂

Yeah, there is a certain phenomenon in the brain that involves perceiving patterns where the information is truly just noise/static. I always figured that's what was going on.

This is totally armchair neuro-psychiatry on my part, but I would find it plausible to hear that someone inside of psychosis is more inclined to perceive false patterns. The reasoning is about dopamine, e.g., psychotic breaks due to drug use are usually w/ drugs that spike dopamine super high, such as meth. Further, antipsychotic drugs are usually dopamine antagonists, meaning the drug itself binds to dopamine receptors, thereby blocking the endogenous dopamine. Oh, the other thing is a kind of funny (to me) story. I guess that way back before the drugs that make you feel good were all outlawed, mathematicians working on new theories sometimes used amphetamine (regular, not the meth type) to stay up and work more. Too much of this and they started noticing messages from aliens or similar... which is another case of falsely perceiving a pattern, because of course those communications will come in some sort of code.

Okay, I'll shut up now.

 

[may71]

And started taking all natural abilify and I noticed a VERY huge difference in my behavior.

What is all natural abilify? Are you taking any other medication?

 

[SummertimeSadness]

What is all natural abilify? Are you taking any other medication?

Like vegan plant based abilify

Its abilify manufactured in vegan shops i think

 

[may71]

I dont speak Spanish nor can I understand it but for some reason I understood everything it was saying lmao

Do you want to say what was being said to you?