I've always had a shitty life. A shit start to life. From the moment I was born till where I am now.
I've learned new things recently about myself that I really didn't want to hear. I'm in a horrible place, so bad I would rather live out on the streets as that would be my only other option. My family is fucked up. I've told you my story awhile ago which you can find in the threads i've made. But this is something new and recent.
I finished my course, now with a $2k dept. not much but still a dept nonetheless. The govt were going to cut my Student allowance which paid for my accommodation the next week. My mother who lives with my abuser and married him while he was in jail for what he did to me says to come live with them. I thought about how absurd that was. Me? living with my past abuser? (He sexually abused me for those who are confused)
A week later and I've moved into their place. No other option. No other family that cares about me or they are dead. I get a huge room to myself which is nice, but just the fact i'm living with this guy has me on edge all the time. He tries to talk to me like we are pals and its infuriating like he's pretending nothing happened. He scarred me for life and he's talking to me about anything and everything.
My mother's health is deteriorating fast. Her speech is getting worse and is now starting to have trouble eating as her lips and tongue aren't working like they should. The stupid doctor's keep sending her to one place then another place a couple months later which is pissing me off cause she could of found out what she has by now if they got their act together.
So I've also found out the only reason I was born was in the hope that it would keep my mother and my father's relationship together. (He left when I was 4) I emailed him early this year in the hopes that maybe one day I could go visit him in England. He emailed me back saying that isn't a good idea and that he now has a new family and wants nothing to do with me. He still sends me $50-100 for my birthday and for Christmas. So not only did I just found out I was lied to that he just left cause he wanted to look after his mother, but he wants nothing to do with me and doesn't want me to ever visit.
I swear. No one in this world gives two shits about me. My mother recently said she wants to commit suicide but I know its just her unstable mentality saying that and not her. She's always saying she hates me and that she knows I hate her. But honestly, all that stuff is her wanting attention. She's cheating on her husband, my abuser. That's why I know about her attention seeking.
But yeah, this was more or less a quick update on my pathetic life so far.
Again, check out my story for everything else that's happened in my life.
I've learned new things recently about myself that I really didn't want to hear. I'm in a horrible place, so bad I would rather live out on the streets as that would be my only other option. My family is fucked up. I've told you my story awhile ago which you can find in the threads i've made. But this is something new and recent.
I finished my course, now with a $2k dept. not much but still a dept nonetheless. The govt were going to cut my Student allowance which paid for my accommodation the next week. My mother who lives with my abuser and married him while he was in jail for what he did to me says to come live with them. I thought about how absurd that was. Me? living with my past abuser? (He sexually abused me for those who are confused)
A week later and I've moved into their place. No other option. No other family that cares about me or they are dead. I get a huge room to myself which is nice, but just the fact i'm living with this guy has me on edge all the time. He tries to talk to me like we are pals and its infuriating like he's pretending nothing happened. He scarred me for life and he's talking to me about anything and everything.
My mother's health is deteriorating fast. Her speech is getting worse and is now starting to have trouble eating as her lips and tongue aren't working like they should. The stupid doctor's keep sending her to one place then another place a couple months later which is pissing me off cause she could of found out what she has by now if they got their act together.
So I've also found out the only reason I was born was in the hope that it would keep my mother and my father's relationship together. (He left when I was 4) I emailed him early this year in the hopes that maybe one day I could go visit him in England. He emailed me back saying that isn't a good idea and that he now has a new family and wants nothing to do with me. He still sends me $50-100 for my birthday and for Christmas. So not only did I just found out I was lied to that he just left cause he wanted to look after his mother, but he wants nothing to do with me and doesn't want me to ever visit.
I swear. No one in this world gives two shits about me. My mother recently said she wants to commit suicide but I know its just her unstable mentality saying that and not her. She's always saying she hates me and that she knows I hate her. But honestly, all that stuff is her wanting attention. She's cheating on her husband, my abuser. That's why I know about her attention seeking.
But yeah, this was more or less a quick update on my pathetic life so far.
Again, check out my story for everything else that's happened in my life.
