I wake up and I already don't care, because I am already angry. I am pissed I have to go through another day. I don't care enough to keep living living like this. tell me about your day, tell me about your hobbies, tell me how much fun it will be to go out and do something with friends, I simply don't care. I have no idea how else to explain to you how much I don't want to do anything but sleep and just not wake up. As weird as it sounds I am tired of sleeping. I don't want to be tired anymore. I just want to feel rested and awake for once. The feeling of a caffeine high is as close as I get to feeling awake. I am sick of sleeping 12-16 hours a day and then napping. I just want relief. If i stop drinking coffee I will always be sleeping. I am sure at this point caffeine has no effect on me. I just want to feel something besides anger and loneliness.