Ahh look mate. Don't worry about the "how do I kill myself?" bit, you write like an intelligent person, so let's not pretend; an oncomming train will pretty much ruin your afternoon pretty quickly, you know that, I know that, and the moderator that will edit my post knows that.
Basically a lot of the posts on this forum could be reformulated to say, Hey right now my life sux and it would kind of be nice if someone out there actually said, yeah I know mate but it'll be alright and the whole world doesn't think your crap.
A lot of people kinda think that if they aren't definately 100 percent convinced that they are going to kill themselves then their problems aren't worth talking about....that's crap.
Don't think you have to say "I am going to die cos..." it's ok just to sit back and look at your life and think, gee this isn't the way I want to spend the rest of it cos it kinda sux.
I don't kow you at all bud, so forgive me if I'm way off track, but it sounds like you need to get out there and explore, the way you used to as a kid. Life is about finding crabs under rocks at the seaside. Go get yourself some crabs.
p.s. bore away. Sometimes it helps to get it down.