I want to die

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by The Depressed Puppy, Mar 18, 2014.

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  1. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I don't see the point in living anymore. I am so depressed. Last night,i woke up with these really strong suicidal urges. I can not stop contemplating suicide. I have looking up different methods, because I just want to leave. Really bad.

    I have a plan, why not just go through with it. I will hopefully be gone when I do it,
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I must ask, are you receiving any type of professional assistance? The thoughts you have may be temporary..you might want to end it all today, but will you tomorrow? If it's a short term problem you're having you most likely will be able to pull through, if its been a long term thing, I think you need to let the professionals know just how badly you are feeling. No one deserves to live like that, it's mental torture. :(
  3. soulreaper

    soulreaper Well-Known Member

    you have to find out if this a temporary passing, fleeting, feeling or if it is comes from years of depression.
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Why not get help? It takes courage & strength... Yes, I know! But I believe you can do it; and I know that you have the ability through treatment to get better--feel better. Can you imagine? Not having to feel this way? Help is out there. Please reach out and seek it. I think conquering that fear of exposing your pain is completely natural. So, don't feel embarrassed. There's got to be a billion people around the world receiving medical care for this and a billion more who need it.
  5. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I just don't want to get help, i don't want to tell anyone what I am going through.Last night I almost went through with it, I actually started taking some pills. But i didn't go through with it.
  6. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    It has been long term
  7. Nobody

    Nobody New Member

    Really sorry you are feeling this way. But at the same time, i'm glad you took the time to write on this forum, so we can try to help you. I know what you must be feeling, i feel the same almost all the time. Death is no escape, it's just ending a beautiful life. I can promise you this: things will get better. Please, just hold on for a little more. Things DID get better for me, when i decided that i would wait 1 day before killing myself.

    If you cannot speak to anyone about your problems, that is OK. The fact that you are posting on here, shows that you want to be helped, a part of you still want to live. Although your life is full of darkness and despair in this very moment, i promise you that you will get better, you will recover. Many people have recovered before you, and experienced the same amount of pain, and so can you. Alot of people never reach out, and this is probably the biggest reason why people carry through with suicide.

    Whatever you do, please keep posting on this forum. I don't want you to die, or experience this kind of pain.
  8. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    why don't you want to tell anyone irl? was it 'cause of that bad experience with the person who didn't wanna be your friend anymore?
    you're telling all of us here. how does it differ for you irl?
  9. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I feel really worthless right now. That people hate me, that people shouldn't enjoy me because I am ugly,& a horrible person. I just want to be gone, forever.

    Well, first off I don't know anyone on here, its online, & I will never be sent to hospital, & I will not be forced to talk anyone.

    This is the forum where I'd admit this stuff. I won't admit it on the dog forums I'm on,or any other forum for that matter. For why i don't want to tell someone if real life? Because of many reasons. I do want help, but at the same time I kind of enjoy my depression. I do not want people to know I am suffering, I do not want them to worry, freak out, or treat me different. I do not want to go to the hospital. & there are other reasins.
  10. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    fair dos about the us all being online. people here worry too though.

    why worthless? what's gone on today?
    do you keep a diary at all?
  11. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I feel worthless everyday :( Nothing has gone on, really. I just hate myself
  12. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I just do not seeing the point in living anymore. I try, but things just get worse. I can't even get through the day without being really depressed, & feeling worthles. As of now, I would try anything to die, I do not care anymore. If I fail, that would suck, but I would rather try to attempt, then keep on living everyday. It is toture.

    No one even cares about me anymore, people hate me.
  13. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    you just come here to vent, don't you
    i mean wow, man, talk about ignoring people trying to help you
  14. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I am really sorry. I know I am not a good person for doing this. I really appericate all of you guys helping. Seriously, if it wasn't for you guys, I might not be here. You,& other people really help me get through these things.

    I am just really struggling lately.
  15. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    You don't have to be sorry for any thing depressed puppy. That is what the disease is doing to you. So don't beat yourself up... I just want you to know that it doesn't have to be this way. But I know that it is hard to get help. Especially when your condition is telling you not to. Whether you know it or not, you are very well cared for here. Don't listen to your depression talk. It lies to us all the time. See if you can't have some kind of fun tomorrow. Whatever that may be! I wish you the best. -mbg
  16. LostIt

    LostIt Member

    Please don't commit suicide.
    I know that you are hurting, I understand that, but there WILL be a way out if you hang in for a little longer.
    Find something that you enjoy in life to regain some will to live, I promise you that there is something out there for you.
    Don't go through with your plan, you mean a lot to me, even if you don't think so, your life is important and without you the world would be a much worse place.
    We all love you, and find someone close to talk to, if not, keep posting here and we'll listen.
    You are beautiful, and no one deserves your pain. You're a strong person and I want you too keep holding in there.
    You've been through a lot, and it is unimaginable your pain, but you're just gonna have to keep being strong and hold in there for us. We need you.
  17. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    puppy, t'is ok and it doesn't make you a bad person or anything, struggle is real and i do sincerely wish all the best for you
    and so i/we ask these questions and reply to understand it more and help
  18. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I don't even know why I got this disease :( Most things are going ok,beside one of my friends, everything is ok.

    Everyone seems so happy, & people always tell me."You're so happy" But I am mnot. I was going to tell my friend. Then she was like, whats wrong with people, why are they so sad, they just be happy. Well, I will tell here.

    I feel worthless, like that I do not deserve kindness, that people are getting annoyed by me, that they do not want be around, that they hate me,& other things. But when there mean, it kind of hurts me. It is werid.

    I am not sure why I enjoy my depression, it is weird. Right now, I don't want anyone IRL to know, because 1. I want to be gone. I do not want someone to stop me, or take my items away. 2. I don't want anyone to know I am suffering.Because they will freak out, & will keep asking me if am ok.
  19. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Depressed Puppy, how old are you now?? Being young and making decision to end it all may not go as expected..ODing often ends with the doer more sick and serious medical conditions on top of everything else.. Not good at all!!

    Depression strikes many,many ppl..a good professional psych person and the rite meds can help tremendously ..puppy helped a lot of ppl rite here..

    Before you try to take your life please call a crisis line, or talk to your doctor, go to hospital emergency room..any of these.please get some help.. Puppy we love you here and now..please stay safe!!! Jim
  20. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

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