I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle. I want to move out but I can't afford a studio or one bedroom. I can't afford one because I don't have a well paying job. I don't have a well paying job because I haven't completed college yet. I haven't completed college because I owe the school money. I'm tired of living with my aunt. I have to say where I'm going if I want to leave, if I'm gone long enough she wants to know where I am. She makes me go to church which makes my depression worse. She will lecture me on any little mistake I made. Whether it's chores, or I do something that was "wrong". She acts like I'm a problem for her. If I ask her to do something for me she acts like it's an inconvenience. I hate it when she goes into my room for something because I feel like she's stepping into my personal space. I hate the parties she has sometimes. They're loud and it makes me anxious. I like quiet. I feel like she's concerned about me for the wrong reasons. She knows about my depression but she doesn't bother to help. She doesn't ask how I feel or what's depressing me. Even if she did she'll wave it off. She also comes off as unapprochable. She acts like she's too busy. I thought about going back to my dad but things were not great living with him growing up. He was emotionally abusive. And he somewhat still is in a way. My other aunt said she would help me get an apartment in Tyler. But I recently landed a promising modeling career. Staying in Tyler would be too far for me to go back and forth.
