But not just to have a boyfriend. I could get one easily if I wanted to, but I want someone who I love. I have never loved someone who loved me back. I have loved someone who only liked me back as a friend but didn't love me and it basically felt like rejection. For those who have experienced love that was reciprocated, what is it like?
I wish I had a boyfriend..
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Wow, you don't mess around on asking the big questions @1225 . I'm sure this will sound like a cope out , but I think it feels different for everyone and only you can tell when you've found it.
For me, the only time I've felt truely unconditionally loved, is from my daughter. My partner was always a mix of fear of doing the wrong think and losing them, and resentment for them making me feel like they'd just settled for me due to circumstances when all I wanted was for them to love me like I loved them.
So in answer to you time frame for feeling romantic live, I'm late forties and still don't think I've felt it the way I wanted it, but I do have the love of family.
All I think you can do is live a life that makes you happy, and if you do find someone to share it with, that's a bonus.
For me, the only time I've felt truely unconditionally loved, is from my daughter. My partner was always a mix of fear of doing the wrong think and losing them, and resentment for them making me feel like they'd just settled for me due to circumstances when all I wanted was for them to love me like I loved them.
So in answer to you time frame for feeling romantic live, I'm late forties and still don't think I've felt it the way I wanted it, but I do have the love of family.
All I think you can do is live a life that makes you happy, and if you do find someone to share it with, that's a bonus.
That IS a heavy question there.
Why do you think you're lucking out with finding someone? You say you've fallen in love but it wasn't the same for them. And you say you're outgoing and aren't socially awkward so it shouldn't be that difficult. Seems pretty easy, right? So there's no way for us to tell you what it's like when someone loves you - that's just not something one puts into words. But is there a different question here? Like why isn't that happening for you? Do you go places to meet people?
Why do you think you're lucking out with finding someone? You say you've fallen in love but it wasn't the same for them. And you say you're outgoing and aren't socially awkward so it shouldn't be that difficult. Seems pretty easy, right? So there's no way for us to tell you what it's like when someone loves you - that's just not something one puts into words. But is there a different question here? Like why isn't that happening for you? Do you go places to meet people?
There's no guarantees on relationships. Even a piece of paper or oath can't stop separation. At first love is reciprocated, it was the best feeling in the world. Everyone and everything gives you happiness. You have a high tolerance for idiots. After, a while everything will crush and burn. It takes longer for women but, easier to men. Thus, we got rejected first before we can reject them.
As my friends say, it will come to you when you least expect it. Whether you are introvert or extrovert. The thing is that you have to define or envision the person you like. Sometimes we put a high standard of requirements. That we fail to see the person you are looking for is just right there.
As for age, you are still young. If you meet people in a bar. That's just temporary fixes. They refer to it as meat market.
Go to a geek convention. There are fine people there. That's a good place to look.
As my friends say, it will come to you when you least expect it. Whether you are introvert or extrovert. The thing is that you have to define or envision the person you like. Sometimes we put a high standard of requirements. That we fail to see the person you are looking for is just right there.
As for age, you are still young. If you meet people in a bar. That's just temporary fixes. They refer to it as meat market.
Go to a geek convention. There are fine people there. That's a good place to look.
It's hard to say what reciprocated love feels like. How do you know 100% that the other person truly does love you, without any doubt? I think that's the scariest part about falling in love. Never knowing for sure what the other person feels about you. You could go years believing they love you, too, only to find out they fell out of love with you half a decade before.
Love is complicated. I knew I was in love with my partner when I woke up next to him, and realized that if I ever lost him, I would miss everything about him. I'd even miss his bad habits. Because I love all of him, not just the parts that I see as "perfect". I think that's the key difference between love and crushes (or lust). With lust, you like only the perfect parts of a person - their appearance, or their funniness, or the way they kiss you. With love, though, you love the whole person. You love them not in spite of their flaws, but despite them. You love them even when they're doing something that makes you mad. When they love you back? It's hard to explain. It's magical, though. It's like, in some ways, you become "one". I guess that's why people see couples as becoming "one" when they marry. You kind of start to pick up each other's habits (for better and worse). You start to talk like one another. Think like the other. Just little things like that. It's different from the beginning stages. The early stages of falling in love are kind of like being high. But once that passes, and you "settle down", it's a calmer kind of love. Neither of you feel you have to prove it any longer.
Love is hard. I think a lot of people, these days, fear it. Which may be why it's difficult to settle down. You still have a lot of time to fall in love. It usually comes when you least expect it. When you're not looking for it at all.
Love is complicated. I knew I was in love with my partner when I woke up next to him, and realized that if I ever lost him, I would miss everything about him. I'd even miss his bad habits. Because I love all of him, not just the parts that I see as "perfect". I think that's the key difference between love and crushes (or lust). With lust, you like only the perfect parts of a person - their appearance, or their funniness, or the way they kiss you. With love, though, you love the whole person. You love them not in spite of their flaws, but despite them. You love them even when they're doing something that makes you mad. When they love you back? It's hard to explain. It's magical, though. It's like, in some ways, you become "one". I guess that's why people see couples as becoming "one" when they marry. You kind of start to pick up each other's habits (for better and worse). You start to talk like one another. Think like the other. Just little things like that. It's different from the beginning stages. The early stages of falling in love are kind of like being high. But once that passes, and you "settle down", it's a calmer kind of love. Neither of you feel you have to prove it any longer.
Love is hard. I think a lot of people, these days, fear it. Which may be why it's difficult to settle down. You still have a lot of time to fall in love. It usually comes when you least expect it. When you're not looking for it at all.
1225, I know the feeling about not finding love, but I learned from it. First love is complicated, yet it is also simple. It is filled with contradiction as well. You have to decide where you draw the lines. Obviously it can't be one sided yet many people seem to have the my way or we are done. Mutual understanding is one of the only ways to go. I do wish you luck.