I worry I'll fail my parents in their last years/moment of death

[I_waste_everything]

My parents sindon still alive. But I am self-angry that in their last years, I'll be a terrible caretaker, and then I won't be there for them at their deathbed, or if I am, then I'll say something awful and ruinous. Or lose it and step out for a breath, then they pass away before I can come back to say 'I love you', or 'I'll see you later'.

 

[Congratsbaby]

My parents sindon still alive. But I am self-angry that in their last years, I'll be a terrible caretaker, and then I won't be there for them at their deathbed, or if I am, then I'll say something awful and ruinous. Or lose it and step out for a breath, then they pass away before I can come back to say 'I love you', or 'I'll see you later'.

I wish I had the right things to say. Your feelings are valid and you're allowed to feel. A hug ? If that's okay. If not , I just want to acknowledge you. I may not get you completely but I see you , and I do understand to some extent and it's all valid , all of it.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Try not to be so harsh on yourself. You never know what a soul truly wants. I have observed death. Some souls won’t pass with others there. Some Souls will wait until the last goodbye can be done. Providing love is true comfort. Sounds like you have lots of love for them!

 

[I_waste_everything]

I wish I had the right things to say. Your feelings are valid and you're allowed to feel. A hug ? If that's okay. If not , I just want to acknowledge you. I may not get you completely but I see you , and I do understand to some extent and it's all valid , all of it.

A hug would be *very* okay. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[may71]

Or lose it and step out for a breath, then they pass away before I can come back to say 'I love you', or 'I'll see you later'.

As long as you express these things to them regularly, they'll know. Communicating this at the last moment isn't necessarily the most important thing.

But I am self-angry that in their last years, I'll be a terrible caretaker, and then I won't be there for them at their deathbed, or if I am, then I'll say something awful and ruinous

Even trying is a lot. There are plenty of people who either wouldn't care, or who would be abusive. I hope you can learn to be forgiving of yourself, no one does everything perfectly.

I wonder if therapy or books on grieving might help you prepare in advance.

 

[Congratsbaby]

A hug would be *very* okay. Thank you for your kind words.

* Hugs * you're welcome.