I have never done this and I have to say I have written this and deleted a number of times, so here it goes.... I have thoughts of suicide occasionally and this is a time of year it is bad. I don't have them now but I am really down. I know there is much to live for but these sad, destructive thought overcome them. I want to get help but I am very afraid to ask or even know where to look. I want to avoid the overreaction that will happen if I tell anyone I am close to. ( I have visions of rubber rooms and 24 hour surveillance. ) How should I go about finding help and is there a particular type of therapist that would be good for this situation? I would like to keep this as secretive as possible from everyone. I look at the yellow pages and there are so many choices… there should be a section called,”Psychologists for people who want to blow their brains our sometime in the future.” That would make things real easy. I hope this is the right forum and I am not wasting anyone’s time with this. Thanks for any advice.