I'm a shitty friend. Need advice!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Blahdyblah, Sep 25, 2009.

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  1. Blahdyblah

    Blahdyblah Member

    Hey guys, I really need someone to talk to and hopefully get some advice. Lately everything has been going wrong. I've been dating my friend's ex for 4 months. I talked to him about the whole situation, but he didn't approve of me dating her. Now hes not talking to me, which is understandable, I know that I'd feel the same way about it if I was in his situation. I went against my better judgment and continued to date her. I do miss talking to him, but I think the damage is pretty much done. The reason they broke up was because of distance. He lives 100+ miles away along with a majority of my other friends. They never saw each other anymore and she decided to end it.

    I'd like to try and patch things up with him, but I'm not sure if its possible. I tried to break up with her before things went too far. I just hate disappointing other people, and I always try to make everyone happy. I've never really been put in a situation where I have to choose. I hate this feeling that I betrayed my friend, and I'm even starting to feel like I'm disappointed my other friends.
     
  2. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I take it your friend lives 100+ miles away from you then? So how do you define your friendship? I mean how often do you see him etc.
     
  3. Blahdyblah

    Blahdyblah Member

    I saw him once or twice a month when we were friends. I'd usually go and visit him along with my other friends whenever they had something going on like a party. They would always do something big whenever it was someones bday. I would always help out with whatever we were doing (i.e buy beer or pitch in for food.) I'm not sure if they were really good friends or not. I remember that I felt really shitty last time I went up there for my bday and we didnt do anything but sit at their apartment. Nobody even bought me a beer :/ Even though my friend said he considered me a really close friend. It never felt like it.
     
  4. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    So you're getting on really well with this lass, and would throw it all away for a friend who never felt like a close friend to begin with?
     
  5. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    Then why do you care so much? You need to ask yourself if this possible reconciliation is about what you want, or if it's about appeasing others.
     
  6. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    (Edited post duplicated - not sure why so deleted this one)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2009
  7. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    To be honest if it was my birthday and my mates didn't buy me a beer, I'd just tell them to fuck off. Though this probably explains why I don't have that many friends :biggrin: You only need 1 friend though, as long as they're a good friend. So would this lass be a good friend?
     
  8. Blahdyblah

    Blahdyblah Member

    I'm not sure how ill get over my problem of always trying to make everyone happy. It always makes everything hella stressful! Anyways thanks for all the advice! =)
     
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