I'm being blamed for a suicide attempt....

[starkmachete]

Last night my girlfriend of 6 years, who I love very much, tried to commit suicide after a long discussion about breaking up. She stormed out of my house and took off, threatening to kill herself, and I couldn't chase her because I have a bad leg from a recent accident.

I called her sister, who I dont get along with, and informed her of the situation in a plea for help. Her sister eventually took her to the hospital, and for some reason rallied her entire family against me and used me as a scape goat.

Her mom has tried to commit suicide twice in the last 7 years, and I'm frankly disgusted that such a bad parental example could have the guts to point the finger at me.

I'm honestly beating myself up over this, and I don't know why. I understand that she felt the she was unloved by ALL, because of OUR situation. She is loved by so many, and when we lost a fried to suicide last year, we held a massive N.A.M.I. benefit to increase mental illness awareness. After all we went through, she still make the cowardly, selfish decision to hurt everyone who loves her and do this, and they all blame me.

As much as I love booze and weed, it's obviously not going to make things better, and I dont know where to turn. I'm a musician, and I have to play tonite and put on my happy face for a crowd of people who don't know me. I don't know any details of the incident because her family wont tell me, and they claim they are filing a restraining order, even though the altercation that set the suicide attempt in motion was a totally typical conversation.

Someone please offer some good advice....

 

[Diseased88]

well, if they place a restraining order, comply. Realize, that you cant change someones elses opinions of you, no matter how unjust and wrong they are. I would suggest just waiting till the whole thing blows over, but dont turn to drugs and alcohol if your feelin' down (which i think you all ready know)

also, if they contact you in anyway, be sure not to say anything or call the authorities (it might be a trap) but if theres no restraining order, be there for her.

Not much else i can think of, some people you just cant get along with.

 

[Terry]

Yep I agree with Diseased, a case of least said soonest mended. Stay out the way till it all calms down and dont be drawn into it.

 

[TLA]

I wanted to add something, cuz I read this and wanted to SCREAM at her family. Maybe cuz it sounds like mine, ha ha. bah!

In the event you do indulge, at work, in a few beers, shots or whatever caution yourself beforehand NOT to make any contact w/ her. You will need to talk to yourself beforehand and plan what you will do to stay clear of the family. :police:

You might also write down how you feel so if someone??! is there to hear your side then you will be prepared. If she went to a hospital, she may be assigned a social worker. You probably will be blocked on getting info. about her as some in-patient are very private, protective, but you can state your case. To give them the whole picture. Who knows what the dr. knows.

Maybe write her a song. :guitar: or poem. Let her know you care!! boundaries do take time to learn.


If you read any NAMI info, you may KNOW that you are NOT to blame for her actions. It may be a desperate cry for pain. I would guess lack of coping skills (due in part to her mom). All you can do is continue here/online in order to seek ways to handle this delicately. Keep telling yourself that it is her, not you. IT WAS HER ACTION.
If she did not stay in hospital, that buys you time.....you have to do what is best for you. Many people (girls especially) will attempt cuz broken relationships are too tough to face. It feels like death. Understanding her view is important. There are many here that have that pain, loss in their life and no coping skills, except self-defeating ones.

I think NAMI National has a hotline number, I called it once. :phone: You might look and try to see if they have more suggestion outside of strangling anyone.

Good luck, keep us posted---give your girlfriend www.suicideforum.com as a resource. *getting off the soapbox for now*