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I'm dying

#1
This is my story.
To begin with, when I was 14 years old, in drug addiction, once I was on the way to my school when it was published to my distributor (which was a lot of money) with a revolver, I was with my best friend, my best Friend defends me without knowing that the problem was for drugs, that he only threatened me with death. My friend received three shots and I only two, I saved myself unfortunately but my friend did not. His name was Philip, Philip died that day. The police did justice, the cargo charges, the issue continues, and my friend died. It's fair? I can not live with that. Time later I stopped the drugs for that and it was late, as well as the heart, the heart, the heart, the heart, the heart, the heart, the heart, the heart, the pain, the pain, the pain, the pain, the pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, in the hospital, 30 times. What he has had for two and a half years. Besides being depressed, I die slowly. I have to operate the heart, in the hospital. It's depressing, I do not count on insurance. Beyond my subject at the same time, I cried in my office and everyone answered, I always say to myself when I got up "Another day in the office" and went to work, my What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? I cried every day in my bed, alone, as I said in a previous post my father died too, I was the only person who had and died, I gave my dog in adoption because I could not take care of it, I did not have any money and I started to I can not see my life partner like that! A little girl in a park ... Her name is Cody ... I lost my father, my best friend and Cody. Time after you have not paid for the new services, so I had to vacate my house ... A lady took pity on me, very friendly, her name is Margarita, I sleep on her porch or she slept on the porch, before I know you have Leukemia Now I am in a hospital suffering from asking the doctors every day to please do not try to do anything for me. They told me that I need an open heart surgery as soon as possible and also do many things for leukemia that are quite expensive. It's amazing, I pray to God every day but where is he? He is not with me.
The more I have to suffer sitting in this bed? Why can not I die now?
 
#2
Sorry that you are going through this, and for the loses of your loved ones.

my friend died. It's fair?
It sounds very unfair. If he left loved ones behind, talking to them, and about how you feel, might help them as well as you.

Now I am in a hospital suffering from asking the doctors every day to please do not try to do anything for me
If your odds of recovery are slim, it sounds reasonable to emphasize your comfort over trying to make a full recovery.

Is there any unfinished business that you want to settle while you are still alive?

It's amazing, I pray to God every day but where is he? He is not with me
I don't know if there is a God, or if there is a God, if he is good, but if there is a God who is good, then surely he loves you and doesn't want you to suffer.
 

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