Hello Everyone. I'm brand new here. I'm having some difficulties figuring out the site & how to use some features. Mostly the chat room. Can anyone help me figure these things out, please? A little about me. I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. It's all clinical depression. It's not situational depression. I really have a pretty good life. I have a great husband that takes good care of me & is very understanding & supportive of my "issues" as I call them. I have suffered from depression with suicidal tendencies, as my Dr calls it, since I was about 14. I'm now 28. I also have social anxiety that is also triggered by stress. I have moderate OCD which get worse when I'm anxious, which is most of the time. I've recently moved to AZ from FL, where I spent my whole life. I've never lived this far from my family & I've never lived in a place that I couldn't go to the beach, which I love to do. In Feb, I had to quit my job because of my anxiety. I worked as a technical support advisor & would get extremely anxious when I had an upset customer, which happened many times a day. I miss working, & I miss that job because I worked from home & I didn't need to leave my house & be around other people, which makes my anxiety much worse, so I was able to control it a little better. My Dr recently put me a Xanax but before that, I've always dealt with my anxiety, depression, & suicidal thoughts all on my own. I've never had anyone that I could confide in that understood where I was coming from & understood that depression & anxiety are not things that can be controlled. They are things that just happen. My parents always tell me "just be happy." That's impossible when you can't see the good in anything. When all you see is the bad things in the world & have no one that understands. Anyway, I have no friends where we live now. I depend completely on my husband for all interaction. I have no vehicle to go anywhere, because I had to sell it so I could quit my job, & my only neighbors aren't friendly to "strangers." I'm trying to buy a violin so I can learn how to play & I'm trying to find a way to take online college courses. I have no idea where to start, I have no money to attend, & my only computer is very outdated & has it's own issues. It just feels like nothing I want to do with my life ever works out. I've always felt like I'm the only one that understand what that's like. Any time something bad happens in me & my husbands lives, all I can think is "this is just my luck. He'd be much better off without me. Everyone would." I hate feeling that way & I want it to stop. Anyway. That's really all I have to say. I'm sorry this is so long. But I wanted to share som about myself & see if I could get some perspective from others that understand what I'm going through.