I'm Not Doing Well

[may71]

Does your sister understand how suicidal you are?

 

[KM76710]

I wish that you had more and more sympathetic support from your sister. It must be tough on you when it should not be.

 

[may71]

can you see why I don't want to be apart of this and looks towards death as an escape?

I can see why this is getting to you. All the strife gets to a lot of people, including me.

What I'm saying is by the nature of who we and this place is, an ongoing fight is inevitable as long as humans exist

Politics and struggle may be inevitable parts of human societal existence.

I also think that there are ways that some people have found to be able to manage living in a chaotic world. Maybe that would be possible for you too?

 

[I Love Tomorrow]

I understand.


Do you think that she is, or that this is... sort of, her way of "Apologizing," then? Like, we'll just go out & do this (one little activity) & we can act as if nothing ever even happened. And just by us being to-gether, as if all is normal, then that will mean all is well, too (or as well)? Or does she seem the time to want to talk about it, and maybe even express some genuine remorse, try to explain her self & thus/then - I dare say, 'Apologize?' Or is "I'm sorry," against her M. O. w/You? Do you feel. . . You don't have have to answer any of these/or any of this; as it's just more me, 'thinking out loud.' Perhaps something will pop into your head that wasn't there before. But if it doesn't, then I'm sorry if I have wasted your time. I'm sorry your Sister has taken you for granted & treated you this way, like dirt, and as if you don't deserve to live. I will trust you & your read on this one: the situation, & the fact that, she did very well mean the words she'd spoken, or said. And NO- I hope you r Mom, doesn't 'Join-in,' on ~the action*. :/ Try & forget them, as best you can, for now... or at least that's what I might try & do. Like that Shark Tnak guy always saiys, "You're DEAT to me!" ;D of course, this can always be RE-Tracted, at any moment or tijme, but if it helps heal & forget or forgive - I dunno... I guesw it edepends how you or your mind works (best)! Take care, & sorry i'm burnign anoth er pizeq. ;/

What you're saying does make sense to me. I've been able to calm down since my last post and I sent her an email as politely as I could that we shouldn't talk about certain things from now on and I made it clear how much what she said hurt me and that I don't want to hear it again. I also told her I still want to be able to be there for each other in the future and that I'd like to see her on Sunday at my parents house for dinner. I haven't heard back yet but I think I handled it correctly, we'll see what the future brings.

In many families sometimes family members are complete opposites that make it very hard to have healthy relationships with them. My mother is completely different from her siblings for example. It's almost like a sadistic cosmic joke from the universe for putting us together to see what would happen. Thanks again MisterBGone for your support

 

[I Love Tomorrow]

Does your sister understand how suicidal you are?

She understands how but she doesn't understand why, IMO because she has never lived through many of the situations that I've had to go through. And like many people, because she can't see it from her perspective then she doesn't think it exists or that the person suffering is just exaggerating.

Maybe that would be possible for you too?

Ignoring it or turning the mental channel, when possible and I say that because I don't believe it always is. I'm trying just like many but it's tough, it just pushes one to a break point sometimes.

 

[KM76710]

What you're saying does make sense to me. I've been able to calm down since my last post and I sent her an email as politely as I could that we shouldn't talk about certain things from now on and I made it clear how much what she said hurt me and that I don't want to hear it again. I also told her I still want to be able to be there for each other in the future and that I'd like to see her on Sunday at my parents house for dinner. I haven't heard back yet but I think I handled it correctly, we'll see what the future brings.

In many families sometimes family members are complete opposites that make it very hard to have healthy relationships with them. My mother is completely different from her siblings for example. It's almost like a sadistic cosmic joke from the universe for putting us together to see what would happen. Thanks again MisterBGone for your support

Family members and families can be a mixed bag of most supportive and best bud coupled with biggest critic at times since they likely know each other so well.

 

[Sad01]

I'm not doing well at the moment. I'd like to talk a bit about it if I could. I made the mistake last night of going towards the vices smoking/drinking and watched a sad tv show which made it worse. I called in to work because I know it would have been worse, but now I don't want to be alone with my thoughts.

In my experience I've come to get into a routine of at least giving myself some time before I act on something which helps temporarily.

If you ever find yourself stuck in vices. Just try to use that time to strictly think about how to problem solve in your life and write it down just in case you don't believe in yourself the day after.