It has always been related to my wife and our often tumultuous relationship. The last time i felt this way was about a year ago I when found out she was texting another guy on a regular basis. this guy is a friend of her sister down in Vegas. Long story short my wife made 4 or 5 trips to visit her sister over the course of a month or two shortly after my wife's brother took his own life. She and this guy would hang out, get drunk and stoned, and chat by the fire just the two of them all night. It took me a few weeks to confront her after I found out. I confronted her right before another trip down to Vegas. She lied about it till I showed her the screenshot of all the texts. She told me we were done and left for Vegas. When she returned she acted like none of the past 7 or 8 weeks had happened. Since she was acting loving again I tried to pretend everything was ok and forget about it. Last week I saw that she was still talking to him on Instagram. I called her on it and finally told her how much her behavior had hurt me and how I don't trust her anymore. It was all justification and blaming me from there. She blamed me for needing to find "other people" to talk to. The weight in my chest set in the next morning. The other times i felt the crushing chest feeling in the past were when she kicked me out of the house (2017), the three times in the following 5 years of separation when I didn't see the kids for over a month at a time, and when she handed me divorce papers (2020)
I'm realy sory that you're having to go through all of this, and sufer such ill-treatment, at the hands of the one you love...
@Lostfoundandlostagain ~I mean, I guess. . . I really don't know how to talk to her? Or what would work? Or what you're looking for, in terms of outcomes/or resolutions, but: if it were me, & she was continuing on in this blissful, blind drunk/stoned mindset that is clearly uninhibited & intentional at best; whether she wants or wishes to claim it is all happening subconsicously, or not. Either way, and regardless you think & you feel you know, and believe that you have the truth. For having been married to this woman for so long. And probably, perhaps even, konw her i n some instances 7 regards, better than eve n she does. So you can probably se it, fhe behavior, for what it is. Rather clearly, and consicesly or precisely. Point is, she probably knows what she's doing, even if she doesn't know the underlying reasons (for it) And the bottom line, then is, this: that she doesn't care for you enough, or respect you enough, to b e honest & come clean about it. OR... to try & stop, or put an end to it. I'd ask her probably myself, how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot? All fine & good? Everything's cool! ;/ Anyway, I wish you all the best with this, but it does seem exceedingly difficult, and challenging/or trying. Especially given all of the backstory & specifically in regards thi smanner or instance (with what she's done as result of punishemtnes, or laying down of.. the laws, & whatnot -in or on, your regard, and your "servicfdes," as it were. ) Almost discardxed ofr or discardeing you, ijn a way. Becaue you are insignificant. If that is not the way she thinks, it sure seems as though that is the way she feels, based on her actions, and her behavior, alone. Good luck dealing wiht this th ebest way you can. ANd sorry for all the sloppiness, and mess~* -mrb.
