i keep having visions of skinny girls that i want to look like. i dont look that fat, but mainly just feel uncomfortable and ugly and i dont want to even have a problem with food in the first place. i went on new all raw vegan diet, but tonight i had chocolate cake- not good. I keep checking my bmi over and over again, but it never changes. it's 17.7. its not good or bad, it just is, so why do i have to think about it so much? I dont want to worry about food or exercise so much, i just want to be healthy. i dont want to have to think about it. my fear is that i'm going to stop eating or start over eating. Ideally, i wouldnt mind losing 7-10 pounds. but this is not 'healthy' but it's not too bad either. But if i lost five pounds, i think the worrying would go away because it's not too little and it's not too much, but should i even allow myself to do that? Excuse me for being overly obsessive :crazy: sorry for the venting. take care everyone.