i slept through a therapy session
the fact that i am a walking corpse is constantly reinforced. i was meant to die long ago but some cruel higher power has chosen to keep me here to have some entertainment. its extremely sadistic. i exist only to be mocked. every small thing that happens is just the fucking proof i need. the small is to remind me of the big. i have wasted my money due to rest. absolutely disgusting. i dont know why i even try. i am something that is vile. i am a walking corpse. i hope every day that i am killed. i am a disgusting coward that cant do it myself. it would be the happiest day but since i am so fucking horrid and selfish i have chosen to stay. how fucking evil. something like me should stop. maybe its the plan. maybe its good for me to continue to be a mockery. give something for others to hate. everyone needs to hate something. something as putrid as me can serve as a reminder: do not be this disgusting thing. this disgusting thing is constantly punished for being it. subhuman creature too incompetent to be like the people. constantly shown how disgusting it is. forever a failure. cant wait for my death. i cant wait. the god has kept me from enacting my own fate in fear of failure and imprisonment. i will be imprisoned if i fail because the gods love to torture me
the fact that i am a walking corpse is constantly reinforced. i was meant to die long ago but some cruel higher power has chosen to keep me here to have some entertainment. its extremely sadistic. i exist only to be mocked. every small thing that happens is just the fucking proof i need. the small is to remind me of the big. i have wasted my money due to rest. absolutely disgusting. i dont know why i even try. i am something that is vile. i am a walking corpse. i hope every day that i am killed. i am a disgusting coward that cant do it myself. it would be the happiest day but since i am so fucking horrid and selfish i have chosen to stay. how fucking evil. something like me should stop. maybe its the plan. maybe its good for me to continue to be a mockery. give something for others to hate. everyone needs to hate something. something as putrid as me can serve as a reminder: do not be this disgusting thing. this disgusting thing is constantly punished for being it. subhuman creature too incompetent to be like the people. constantly shown how disgusting it is. forever a failure. cant wait for my death. i cant wait. the god has kept me from enacting my own fate in fear of failure and imprisonment. i will be imprisoned if i fail because the gods love to torture me