I'm So Screwed

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by So Much Destruction, Mar 7, 2014.

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  1. I couldn't even make it to a therapist when I need one most. Wouldn't have mattered as she got held up in court and they cancelled my appointment anyway. They don't care, they have no idea how serious this is. All yesterday showed me was the truth and just how far gone I am. I can't even drive to unfamiliar locations due to the severe anxiety and panic attacks that result. I can't stand the anxiety, the large crowds, it's all so debilitating. Now matters are far worse. As if divorce going on wasn't bad enough now this. I can't even function, I can't even sleep, I'm horrified by such massive losses and this damned anxiety disorder. All that I have and need to survive is being destroyed. I've already lost to much in this and will lose everything within 3 months.
     
  2. I completely understand from own issues and experiences of things similar to this. Does she not have an affiliate who will take you in or is she in private practice? The anxiety part...yeah. That sounds relatively familiar. Have you looke into any other form of treatment for this because you may need a more progressive treatment plan than just seeing a therapist due to the panic attacks and anxiety but I do not know all the factors so..
    If you need anyone to talk to...well...yeah
     
  3. Thx

    Good to know someone actually gets it. The Therapist is in private practice and her receptionist was cold and hung up on me during the panic attack. After calling to get directions she tells me oh I'm sorry your appointment has been cancelled as the therapist got tied up in court. "Why didn't you guys call me back in the morning when I called to confirm my appointment?" I finally get a call back when lost in the middle of the freaking city. So I can forget about that place, they've shown they just don't get it or care. I urgently needed that appointment right then. I know i'm in a dangerous situation and almost ended it yet I hesitated saying "wait if this is to be the end make it such an end so those you leave behind will understand why." So I must wait until I lose all I have left first, then I can justify my plan. Going through divorce, I was married 15 years, now I'm attacked from all sides, watching my financial world I worked so hard for all go down the F#$%ng toilet. It's all falling apart month by month. Never in my life have I seen anything this bad, so much lost in short order and the worst is yet to come, it's devastating absolutely devastating. Any additional bad news might just be enough to push me over the edge, enough already.

    I'm on xanax for the anxiety but it's just not enough, my brain is the problem, I'm so screwed up now.
     
  4. Xanex? Well I had to try several different medications to find a good pill cocktail for me. Prozac, Abilify, and Vyvanse.
    Driving and not knowing where the hell you're going or even miss the wrong turn/entrance? Do you ever just pull into a gas station or go down random streets just to stop panicking? It's horrible.
    Well, your financial struggles are more of a personal issue that you should try to collect your conscious mind into looking for alternatives, etc and TRY not to overload your brain with negative scenarios while doing so. From experience, that right there is what made me give up on things is when an option doesn't fall through...my mind likes to give me 20 different scenarios all at once, overwhelming me..causing me to just say "F*ak it". You can't let that happen and it's hard but there's obviously a sign you're willing to fight these battles considering you were seeking your therapist in a time of need, also you're worried about the outcome of your situation which means you want a solution in life. Look, you're stronger than you think by reaching out in an attempt to keep your rope from breaking.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2014
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I don't knoe if you understand how court works but for most professionals they get a subpoena, they show up , sit all day hoping the testimony they are there for actually happens, and if it does not they get handed another subpoena with an apology from the court to be there the next day and told "should be done in the morning" and if it is not then you are stuck. You do not have an "option" to leave court because you have other appointments - so it has nothing to do with your therapist desire to be there or not in all likelihood.

    If it is a true crisis then a therapist is not going to help you in any way regardless. If it is a case of you are going to die or hurt yourself if you do not see somebody right now then you crisis intervention - which is not a therapist - it is a hospital. Therapist are for ongoing treatment and stabilization, and cannot even write a prescription - the only thing they have to do with a crisis is they are mandated reporters to send you to the hospital if you are in a real crisis and immediate threat of harm - i would be willing to bet the recording at their office even says something to the effect "if this is an emergency go to a hospital or call 911".

    Since you have anxiety very severely it feels like everything is a crisis - that is the nature of anxiety - but that does not mean that it is a crisis on the level of emergency treatment- that is for you to decide and if that is the case then do as the recordings suggest and go to the hospital or call 911. It was an appt to talk for 45 minutes- not a cure or solution to your immediate problems, nor is that what they are supposed to be doing. They cannot solve the issues of years of anxiety attacks in that session, not do anything at all about the divorce or financial situation. Another post it seemed you still would have a reasonable income after the divorce- even if less than a 2 person income... and so far as attorneys go- they are 90% a waste of your money in a divorce as every state settles it by statute anyway and attorneys are more than happy to argue back and forth and run up fees - but in the end the judge is going to decide it by statute - if you do not have million dollar estates and complicated prenuptial and custody issues get yourself a bargain basement attorney and tell the judge to divide it by statute to save on the legal fees- the rest is going to be split by whatever the law is in your state that you can likely look up online....
     
  6. I can't go to the hospital even if it is an emergency, they will force me into involuntary custody and throw me in jail which seems to be what a mental institution is these days. My employer will find out and then I will get fired. Society has a negative stigma attached to those of us that suffer mental illness, hell my insurance company doesn't even cover it. Being taken away will only make things worse, on top of that who would pay for such "services" I can only hope the court situation will be that easy, if so I might actually get out of this. I can make it financially on my own if I can stop the massive losses that keep coming. But I have to plan for the worst possible outcome. The driving anxiety though, I see no way out of it and that may ultimately be my downfall anyway.

    Quote SierraLynnSays
    Driving and not knowing where the hell you're going or even miss the wrong turn/entrance? Do you ever just pull into a gas station or go down random streets just to stop panicking? It's horrible.

    Yes that's exactly what it feels like. I pulled into the nearest lot I could find and the panic attack followed as I realized the destination I arrived at did not exist, I had the right streets everything -thanks Mapquest- I hate the driving anxiety it's holding me back from so many things. I did everything right as I can't stand panic attacks from missing turns or getting lost. To counter that I take photos of the destination, repeatedly check the route and take photos of the directions, miles to get there etc. I plan and then run through everything repeatedly to make sure I get it right. Yet with all this planning and almost always making it to my destinations without error I still get panicky while en route
     
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