If you've seen any of what I post, you'll know I'm on and off with how I feel about my younger sibling. Like all things I complain about on here, a bit of background is needed. Now of course I'm trans, so I was born a male unfortunately. Often my mother would tell me "I wanted a girl!" constantly. This of course made me feel really bad. Sometimes it was in a "joking" context but it still stung. I firmly believe this was one of the things that gave me gender dysphoria. Fast forward to modern day, and I'm sure some of you have seen my thread about me thinking that I'm not emotionally able to handle work. You'll also probably be aware that one of my replies talks about how a professional even confirmed I do not have the emotional maturity to work. Despite this warning from someone in the same field of work as my mother telling her that I do not have the mental well being to have a job, she insisted that I "prove them wrong" and work anyways. This was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I'm glad she didn't decide to use this as a means to get full custody of me as an adult (she would always bring up wanting to get Power Over Attorney over me as a teenager, I have no idea what that means but I refuse to allow her to have more control over me) but on the other hand, I'm now expected to work, something I cannot do. After a hard day of the current job I had, and leaving. I decided that I'm gonna just not work anymore. I discussed it with my girlfriend (who has been financially helping me for awhile now as she's my mother figure in my life now) decided that I'm gonna go to "work" on days during the week to convince my parents I have a job (in other words going to some location they won't find me at for a few hours and lie that I'm going to work) and quit my job and let her support me. My girlfriend pointed out that this "prove them wrong" attitude came from 80s "disability episodes" of cartoons. A good amount of my parents techniques are based on outdated pop-psychology. This has been the plan to this day. What has me bothered now is the preferential treatment my younger sibling gets over me and how my parents treated me. It's gone on for awhile with other things now but it really feels like they've somehow doubled down on it hard in regards to food. When I was a kid, any time I was hungry for a snack, I'd be told to "eat a piece of fruit". Nowadays however, my younger sibling seemingly has endless snacks nowadays. Ice cream, cookies, chips, etc. She used to keep it somewhat fair by occasionally asking "Hey I'm doing a Walmart order, do you want anything" and I'd get a 12 pack of Dr. Thunder regardless other times but for whatever reason that has stopped completely. When I did ask about getting something my sister was getting for the next order, I'd be told "You have a job, buy it yourself." This wouldn't be as bad except for the fact that they'd ask if I "Got any money" whenever I'd ask for something while out when I was 14. At the time, I thought I was somehow expected to get a job at 14 and I just didn't know how to. I only find out modern day through mentioning it to my girlfriend that I find out it's a pop-psychology thing where you're not supposed to tell your kids no and instead respond with sarcastic quips or something. Now it's at a point where I can barely find things to have for BREAKFAST AND LUNCH because everything is labeled for my younger sibling only. I can tell she's not eating fruit because when I look for fruit, often times I have to throw certain fruits away because they're rotting from not being eaten. I legitimately don't know what to do about this, I literally have to skip meals because there's nothing to eat. There's other things I struggle with in regards to bias but food is the most important one right now for obvious reasons. What do I do about this? I don't wanna keep asking my girlfriend for money, at most I have "survey for money" apps and one "walk to earn points for money" app but outside of that, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do to not have only dinner and nothing else.
