i think if we did a poll, 90% of peeps would agree with how you feel, but that doesnt help you right now
not wanting to spout the usual, but can you call someone...dont leave yourself vulnerable if you know you are. i have a friend that comes everyday at 1100 and stays till up to 5pm..and whilst it can drive me nuts, i know it keeps me safe as i try and hide how i feel...didnt succeed well today, but i know if i was alone...i probably wouldnt be here. can you get some to visit for a few hours a day to distract you? there is always here ofc..but sometimes you need to hear a real voice so call crisis line, samaritans or whoever...but dont suffer alone..
:hug: