Is anyone familiar with Erik Erikson's Theory on Stages of Psychosocial Development? I don't know much about it, either but I've read up on stage six - Intimacy vs Isolation. See, what this tells me is that I am right on schedule because this stage is supposed to happen between ages 19-39 or something. I think my problem is I am so afraid of actual isolation so I lean towards intimacy. Except, I haven't wrapped my head around how there's supposed to be different forms of intimacy. And, I don't just mean sex - but I think I feel like the feeling of connection and intimacy someone normal (not me) would get from, say, friends, doesn't count as intimacy for me. So, when there is a man in my life, I become fixated - because that is the only form of intimacy I feel actually good with and am desperate for it. This last one, very recent - we were seeing each other and sleeping together and a month into it, he tells me he's doing the same thing with two other women. Most self respecting women would leave but I didn't - rationalized it in my head as I enjoy spending time with him anyway. And then, in the next month, it began driving me crazy. I began being clingy and moving my own plans to be available just in case he had time for me - I was that girl, you know? I also clammed up, basically. He and I didn't have a lot of conversations because I because so self-conscious. I tried to break it off a couple if times but I've always been pretty spineless when it comes to him so I changed my mind both times very quickly but the second time he told me he's made his choice. Long story short, we said we'd try friends but this last week, I felt the need to fight for him. I sent him emails and facebook messages saying I wanted to fight for him - so I was very desperate and pathetic. I let myself lose all my dignity and yet I still feel like it was alright because I was fighting for what I want. And, yes, as of yesterday, I crossed the line between fighting for someone and being creepy. He called me out on it being creepy and it not being ok and asked me to stop. I merely replied to that email and send another one with additional info, including asking him to block me if he feels the need and he hasn't heard from me since. I don't know what kind of response I expect from this post. I've just read on one of the other threads about someone who broke it off with a girl who was desperate for a man and they weren't really talking to each other. That's basically who I am. The sad thing is, I still wish for this boy back even if I see we're not exactly a match. I just have crossed line after line with him. This incident is a part of my most recent pain - causing me to, yet again, seriously consider suicide.