Intrusive thoughts

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Petal, Oct 11, 2015.

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  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    ..have been driving me fucking crazy since yesterday. Things people have said to me, done to me, made a fool out of me, laughed at me, talked down to me. ALL OF IT. I need it to stop. Help anyone? I have tried distractions but it keeps going back to the thoughts, i feel really about some of the things coming into my mind :(
     
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    If distractions are not working then maybe it would be a good idea to confront those thoughts head on, if you would like to share what people have said/done to you. You don't deserve to feel all that in one go, I'm sorry, but I'm here if you need to talk so PM me or carry on talking here. The thoughts will pass eventually, hopefully it's very soon ((hugs))
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    People telling me I'm slow.
    People telling me I'm fat.
    People telling me I'm useless.
    People telling me I'm stupid.
    People calling me a drug addict (for taking prescribed drugs).
    People looking at me with contempt.
    How badly people have used me.
    Being raped and molested.

    Fuck you all (not sf but YOU PEOPLE WHO CONTINUE TO HURT ME)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 11, 2015
  4. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Which people are saying these things to you? :( It's really abusive and not surprisingly it's hurting you.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Family members, mainly my brother, ''friends'' telling me how I need to lose weight. How a class mate asked me did I like butter. So humiliating. People in the street looking down on me and in contempt. Looking at me for the loser I am. People saying ''you need us more than we need you''. I feel like pretending to go to college tomorrow and really go to the pub (i can't drink for shit it makes me violent so i shouldn't do that)., I am just so angry and annoyed at how people treat me. My mom calling me a drug addict cos i take prescribed medicine.
     
  6. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Lynn, you are not a loser, okay? You're an incredibly amazing person with such a compassionate heart. You don't deserve this bullshit, especially from family members. Does he live with you? If you are able to go to college it's really important you do. I know you are feeling really bad right now but you know the effect alcohol will have on you and it's better you take on knowledge and information at school, rather than let your inhibitions loose. Go pub after college, I'm sure a lot of the people there do. I would be angry to, tbh it's making me angry reading this. What is your natural response to your family members when they insult you, put you down or are being down right stupid?
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Bullies when I was younger demanding money (my family have quite a lot of money which is why i can afford most things which are a privilege) and i DID give them money, i was too afraid not to and they smile at me when she sees me which as you can imagine wound me up and as for the male bully, i do not condone violence but i hit him straight into the face more than a year ago, i confronted him and he denied what he did to MY face, like, what the genuine fuck?
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    No he lives next door in one of my mom's other homes. He is an asshat, comes in looks for fights with girls he would never ever say anything bad to a guy, just to girls. I told him the other day to go and fuck himself after he said ''you need us more than we need you''.
     
  9. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    People would ask for money off me in school too (my family were fairly wealthy too). I used to give it to them, I'd feel bad if I didn't. They were quite manipulative and bullying. I don't know exactly what to do about people in your past (especially those from school) who have caused you harm, but I think the best thing one can do is just completely ignore them, or show to them that you honestly do not give a shit about the past anymore. You're better than them and stronger than them, don't be wasting your time talking to them :)
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    She (bully) now begs on the streets in the city, she's a heroin addict. Do I feel sorry for her? NO. Karma? YES!!!!

    Wow. I never knew you went through things as similar to me, it means a lot to be able to relate to someone, thank you.. I will try and keep my head up high. Thankfully I do not see them often but the thoughts remain.
     
  11. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    He sounds like an asshat. I'm no stranger to being insulted or put down in the family. There are number of things you can do... Say what you did and respond the way they are, by being aggressive/abusive back until they stop. Ignore them completely and don't respond to them at all (it will take a lot longer for them to give up and will likely hurt you a lot, but eventually they will stop). Try to tell them politely why they are wrong to say and do these things to you, it's abusive and needs to stop - Families are meant to support each other, not rip each other apart. Last option is to cut off contact with them altogether, I have had to do this with close family members and it hurts a lot even now, but it was worth it to prevent constant arguments, insults, bullying. You would be better off if you weren't around people like that, I know he's family, but some family members just don't know when to stop and it's sometimes better to stop talking to them than be constantly abused by them.
     
  12. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Hi Petal, I want you to know that I've seen all the good work you do on this site and you are clearly a caring, compassionate person no matter what assholes say. I know it is very difficult to do, but I think it would help you a lot if you first started to learn that what you think of yourself is a lot more important than what other people think of you, and then trained yourself in seeing what a kind, important person you are. Learning to love yourself would take away a lot of the power to hurt you away from the bullies in your life. I hope this advice is useful and thank you for all the good you do here.
     
  13. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I read in the rules (maybe it was another site) that you shouldn't share your experiences in other people's threads as it can take away from their story or make them feel like you are stealing their thread. So I never really shared things about myself even when I've been through something similar with someone :p I should probably share more things because I think it's nice to know when there are other people out there going through similar experiences and that you are not alone in your fight. Keep your head up high, keep the fight going. Oh, and next time you see them just smile and walk away, maybe give them a little wave, but pay them no never mind. They are not part of your life anymore and they aren't going to be ever again, don't let them impact anything on to you.
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    About my brother - Thing is he fractured my ribs back in 2012, i made a statement to police he paid me a large sum of money to retract the statement i made to police which I did. It was my fault though I was going to hurt (self edit) my rapist . Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, I probably would have gotten into a LOT of trouble with police if he did not hold me down and fracture my ribs. I will never forget the pain, I was in complete agony for days.

    ----I think I will just stop talking to him, he's not a good addition to my life.
     
  15. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    It's absolutely fine to share YOUR story, it can be comforting to the original poster. I will do just that, they are not in my life and never will be again so i guess i'll just live and learn. I have a long way to go yet though. I don'y know why these thoughts are coming back to me now, no clue, maybe it's the valium withdrawal. Could well be but none the less thank you so much for your support.
     
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi robroy,

    Thanks so much for your post, it has definitely made me feel some bit better. I know I am a better person than they will ever be, i need to keep reminding myself of that. so thanks for reminding me! hugs!
     
  17. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    He fractured your ribs from just holding you down? You probably would have got into trouble with police. Was your brother looking out for you in this instance? Sorry for the pain you went through anyway.

    I think it's best, if you are going to do it just make sure you cut off contact completely. If he talks to you, ignore him or just respond politely and carry on with whatever you are doing. Don't let him bother you now, he's silly and abusive. Words from people like that mean nothing compared to the words people have for you here - kind, sweet, loving, compassionate, funny, smart, clever, a great friend.
     
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    He was holding me down for about an hour REALLY HARD, he had his hand on my ribs, I was so fucked up the police called an ambulance, yes the police were actually called but obviously nothing was done. I remember him kicking my other sister really hard when she was about 15 and he was about 23 because she had an older boyfriend. He is a coward not just to me.

    I will honestly keep your advice you have given me and keep myself straight :)
     
  19. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    Gentle hugs. Ive just read everything. And wow. you have been through so much recently :( I agree, cut off from your brother and anyone that is trying to bully you and drag you down right now. You are trying to change your life anu need positivity!! Remember that you're a wonderful, courageous person and that people respect and care about you as you do them. We <3 you !!!
     
  20. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Mmm. Regarding the negative thoughts, and actual people saying them outloud, remember you are your own worst crictic if you allowed that to happen.
     
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