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is it just me?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by dzda52511, Sep 11, 2013.

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  1. dzda52511

    dzda52511 Member

    Is it just me who feels trapped in this lifelong sadness, everyday i feel as if i just cant get a break, a good thing to happen to me, i feel so alone and pathetic and desperate for feeling in this manner, i guess ashamed would be a better word to use. i am ashamed. I see happy people and i get so angry because i want to be happy so bad, i want to be able to wake up one day and not be so insecure, angry, irritable, depressed and having no motivation... my only motivation is money so i work so many hours, but is that just my way to hide my feelings, i put on a false face my "ready for work " face... sometimes i manage other days i honestly don't and i end up crying (i work alone for long hours) otherwise iwould be even more embarrassed, i know i shouldn't be but i get so jealous of happy people because i deserve to be happy everyone one does and i work my ass of to try and it DOES NOT happen, i have such false hopes........................................................................ im such a loser fml
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    NO YOU ARE NOT A LOSER you have an illness and you need to reach out for support you deserve to get well talk to your doctor ok there are many here that can relate to your post hun so you are not alone in those feelings
  3. Justzaph

    Justzaph Member

    Im Mostly a Lurker on these Forums, but let me tell you.... YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. It takes something deep down to want to get better.. I feel exactly the same as you do inside.. You are NOT A LOSER by any means, your a fighter, a warrior and at least YOU HAVE A JOB, something I just cant bare in this time in my life. I suggest what "Total Eclipse" said... Find a good doctor and take the first step. I know its hard and overwhelming, having absolutely no energy and seeing the bad things in life.. It does get better.. Get your booty to a Doctor and take that step.. I know its a hard one..But its the first step to getting well again..
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hugs to you....

    welcome to my world
  5. dzda52511

    dzda52511 Member

    Thanks, im currently in therapy now twice a week but i hve a hard time talking about my life i do my best but i dont want to cry im just her client.. ill be the one going home in shame and despair, shes a great therapist but i just feel like i cant tell her how pathetic i am, i hve to get on anti depressents my apps nxt week, i just dnt care anymore theres no meaning and i just want to commit suicide, my thoughts are on it all day.. Im just a coward and cant do it because i care for the ppl whove forgotten about me and idk :/ but i want to
  6. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hope your apt goes well at least.

    it's hard for me to talk about my life, too. especially as growing up everyone punnished me for it- but i'm getting better at it... hey, i joined this forum- and tel me about this site a while ago, i doubt i would have signed up to it. well maybe, but lurked
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