Is Pet grief compare to human grief so different?

[Claudia UK]

Just today I had a chat with one of my neighbours who didn't know that my oldest Shepherd had past away last year in august. My Eva was like another child to me and I loved her dearly. She knew how to comfort me when I had a pretty bad day and had panic attacks and never left my side during that time. She was clinging to me and knew how to lighten my mood. However, during the conversation the lady said : "its just a dog" . I was so upset about it that I had to bite my tongue .!! Really ? Just a dog?

From time to time people tell me, “Lighten up, it’s just a dog,” or “That’s a lot of money for just a dog.”

They don’t understand the distance traveled, time spent, or costs involved for “Just a dog.” Some of my proudest moments have come about with “Just a dog.” Many hours have passed with my only company being “Just a dog,” and not once have I felt slighted. Some of my saddest moments were brought about by “Just a dog.” In those days of darkness, the gentle touch of “Just a dog” provided comfort and purpose to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it’s “Just a dog,” you will probably understand phrases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.” “Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. “Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person. Because of “Just a dog” I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.

For me and folks like me, it’s not “Just a dog.” It’s an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. “Just a dog”brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday people can understand it’s not “Just the dog.” It’s the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being “Just a man” or “Just a woman.”

 

[JCC988]

When we lose something or someone we're really attached to, grief is a part of it. So basically yeah. Don't let what other people tell you bother you. They just don't understand what it's like. In the meantime you just need time to grieve in your own way.

 

[Claudia UK]

When we lose something or someone we're really attached to, grief is a part of it. So basically yeah. Don't let what other people tell you bother you. They just don't understand what it's like. In the meantime you just need time to grieve in your own way.

Thanks JJC, Like you, I think pets are a big part of the family and I treat them in the same way like any other family member and yes I grief for them in the same way. Somebody once said : "Grief, it turns out, is grief, however you cut it and comparing readings for pet grief as opposed to human grief on the griefometer serves little purpose. It’s still the same familiar ache that swells from gullet to gut and fills the entire chest cavity, which only that old cliché time can heal. "

 

[foreverforgotten]

forget them. its not" just a dog."
i spent a lot of money on my cat too..
A lot. i wouldn't say how much bevause.. ppl will think its crazy..
i tried everything to keep him alive. they are like family. like our children. we take care of them.
and they need us too. i think if someone can think of a pet as so replaceable, then they never were apart of the family... its not a material thing. its a living breathing creature. a friend.

 

[na-taya]

I honestly believe there is no such thing a 'just a pet' no matter what animal it is, if you are responsible and loveable pet owner you can't help but love for them as you care for them and watch and learn their traits and behaviors. In my options animlas deserve the same love and respect as anybody else in this world.

So no it's not 'just a dog's that dog was prob more to you that what some people would be. Take your time and try not to let others opinion bother you, everyone is different in what they believe it think and can sometime be insensitive if others.
s

 

[Claudia UK]

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[Walker]

I know it's been a while now but I'm sorry about your beloved Eva.

 

[dugga]

Hi Claudia, I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved Eva. Our pets are real friends to us - they don't criticise or sit in judgement. I was shattered last year when one of my cats was put to sleep, she was only two and it really broke my heart more so than when my own mother died because my little cat was so young and had so much life left in her. Grief is real - you can't measure it in terms of dog, cat, human... it's all grief.

 

[Deety]

I think people say this in a misguided attempt to comfort, so don't worry about it or think badly of them. Grief is grief, and feelings are subjective, so it's not possible to quantify other people's pain. In saying this however, I do understand where they are coming from in that I can imagine carrying on after the death of a beloved pet but not if anything ever happened to my children. Those primary intense human connections would be on a different scale of grief for me.

 

[Let Omelas End]

Claudia,
I don't think non-human animal joy or suffering matters less than our own. Their lives are as worthy of moarning as our own. Frankly, the uncaring additude of most people towards non-human animals is one of the things that alienates me from most people. I'll be devistated when my cat dies. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Claudia UK]

Thank you so much Let Omelas End. I couldn't agree more. Xxx

 

[Claudia UK]

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[StillSurviving]

I've lost a partner, a child and 5 pets - it is different for me, possibly as my pets got older I knew I was going to lose them, but it doesn't mean it's less painful, it's just a different kind of pain - I can't describe it.

I really do think it's a case of expecting to lose them in their advanced years, but you don't expect to lose your partner and your 9yo daughter when you had so much living to do still. I expect if the animals had died younger i'd feel deprived even more, but I was fortunate that they lived between 14 and 21.

Animals are amazing companions - those who say "it's only a...." obviously haven't enjoyed the love of an animal, and for that, I pity them as they are missing out.

 

[Claudia UK]

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[YZO1R]

Don't let other people's words bother you. Human grief is not above pet grief. Eva was not "Just a Dog". To you she was much more than that. I understand completely.

None of my dogs are "Just Dogs". If I lost any one of them I would grieve harder than for any human. They have been with me when I had NO ONE. When I'm feeling down they are always there to make me happy.

 

[Claudia UK]

Don't let other people's words bother you. Human grief is not above pet grief. Eva was not "Just a Dog". To you she was much more than that. I understand completely.

None of my dogs are "Just Dogs". If I lost any one of them I would grieve harder than for any human. They have been with me when I had NO ONE. When I'm feeling down they are always there to make me happy.

Thanks for your kind words YZO1T. Like you I grief harder for my dogs then for any human even if they are close to me. Like you , they helped me through really dark times and without them I wouldn't even have a purpose and probably not here anymmore. They are the only ones who keep me going..they need me . xxx

 

[Sunday16]

I'm sorry for the loss of your dear friend Eva. Losing a pet who is like family is heartbreaking. It took me at least a year to finally move past the pain of losing my beloved cat, and I still get choked up when I think about him. No one can truly understand the relationship you had with Eva, so I hope you don't take your neighbor's words personally. Not everyone feels a pet is like a family member, but many, many others do. You are not alone. In fact I think people who are able to form such trusting, loving bonds with another species are quite special, and blessed.

 

[Miss Invisible]

@Claudia UK I understand the loss you speak of and know the pain left after losing an animal you loved dearly. Unfortunately not everyone is an animal person so, they don't understand the truly awesome bond that is formed by having the experience of having a pet. The unconditional love of a dog (because I'm a dog person) is so amazing, yet it breaks your heart losing them because of it.
I would never change my time spent having my dogs despite any losses because they made my life so worthy of living.

I would say the grieving process is a little different with a pet than a person because the relationship was most likely different. I just lost my dog the day before Good Friday. It was sudden and shocking. And I'm still not sure from one day to the next how I feel about losing her. My dog, Zoey was like one of my kids, she had a sisterly role to her human siblings lol. She sensed my moods and protected me, even if she was only a Chihuahua. She helped with my PTSD, providing a calming effect when I had an anxiety attack or had trouble coping. She just knew instinctively that I needed her.

I could talk forever about the things I loved about my dog or dogs in general. But, I definitely have to say I'm not one of those people who would ever say a dog is "just a dog". They are so much more. And I'm grateful to have had them. Hugs to you and all those who know the loss of a cherished pet.

 

[Claudia UK]

Thanks for your lovely kind words .So sorry for your loss , my heart goes out to you Miss Invisible. I feel your pain . Sending a big ((( hug))) your way.