I recently backed out of a professional commitment due to mental illness symptoms - my superior was not aware of the real reasoning behind this. She shouted at me over the phone, calling me lazy, flaky, and selfish for leaving her hanging when I gave my word. Let's just say the job is over and I will not be getting paid for the couple of days I worked. I feel like crap. Anyone else ever encounter a situation like this?
Is severe depression ever a fair excuse?
- Thread starter Fawn12
- Start date
It's a medical reason. Medical reasons are always fair excuses. I'm really sorry about how your superior treated you that sounds really shitty.
Idk if it's the same but last year I had to withdraw from 4/5 classes in the spring semester bc I'd been in the hospital and there was no way to make up the labs in time. But then before my only final I just randomly decided to take like 5x the amount of one of my nonlethal medications. But I got to class and I was like...I can't tell my professor sorry, I decided to not really od so I can't take the final, like she'll think I'm making it up or scared of the test. But when I was taking the test I was totally spacing out and my vision was blurred and I was falling asleep and I knew that it was terrible. I think given the way that year had gone and the fact I had been a good student all year, I might have had a valid excuse to retake the final. But I just turned it in and left. I didn't want to explain, or to be told I was faking or gaming the system. So even though I knew I probably had a valid medical excuse, I didn't feel like other people would treat it like it was valid.
I know it's just a final, not like a job and no one attacked me. But while I think mh issues are real excuses, I think the fact that so many people brush them off makes it scary to try to use one
Idk if it's the same but last year I had to withdraw from 4/5 classes in the spring semester bc I'd been in the hospital and there was no way to make up the labs in time. But then before my only final I just randomly decided to take like 5x the amount of one of my nonlethal medications. But I got to class and I was like...I can't tell my professor sorry, I decided to not really od so I can't take the final, like she'll think I'm making it up or scared of the test. But when I was taking the test I was totally spacing out and my vision was blurred and I was falling asleep and I knew that it was terrible. I think given the way that year had gone and the fact I had been a good student all year, I might have had a valid excuse to retake the final. But I just turned it in and left. I didn't want to explain, or to be told I was faking or gaming the system. So even though I knew I probably had a valid medical excuse, I didn't feel like other people would treat it like it was valid.
I know it's just a final, not like a job and no one attacked me. But while I think mh issues are real excuses, I think the fact that so many people brush them off makes it scary to try to use one
I truly appreciate your quick reply 
I felt the same way - I knew deep down I had a worthy excuse, yet I also knew deep down that she would not agree with me. I think the worst part is that during the phone call, she went on to harshly criticize my work performance, saying I was lazy and unfocused, and that I "never cared" about my work. In fact it was just the opposite - I've never tried harder at anything. Because of my overwhelming sense of sadness, fatigue, and inner tension, my best effort translated into a job not-so-well done. I just hate that my depression makes other people see me in such a negative light.
I felt the same way - I knew deep down I had a worthy excuse, yet I also knew deep down that she would not agree with me. I think the worst part is that during the phone call, she went on to harshly criticize my work performance, saying I was lazy and unfocused, and that I "never cared" about my work. In fact it was just the opposite - I've never tried harder at anything. Because of my overwhelming sense of sadness, fatigue, and inner tension, my best effort translated into a job not-so-well done. I just hate that my depression makes other people see me in such a negative light.
Your superior showed an attitude which keeps people with depression in hiding. You were honest, and she couldn't handle it because she either doesn't understand depression or has no empathy.
A few years ago I did not go to a couple of family weddings because I was severely depressed and hadn't heard from any of them for quite some time, except for the invitation in the mail. They weren't concerned about me and never reached out to me with a phone call before or after the event. But it is now obvious that I did something unforgivable and they don't care what the reason is.
And if they cared enough to ask why I wasn't there and I told them I was severely depressed, I'm sure they would think it was pretty lame.
Sometimes depression is incapacitating. We have to forgive ourselves, even if other people don't.
A few years ago I did not go to a couple of family weddings because I was severely depressed and hadn't heard from any of them for quite some time, except for the invitation in the mail. They weren't concerned about me and never reached out to me with a phone call before or after the event. But it is now obvious that I did something unforgivable and they don't care what the reason is.
And if they cared enough to ask why I wasn't there and I told them I was severely depressed, I'm sure they would think it was pretty lame.
Sometimes depression is incapacitating. We have to forgive ourselves, even if other people don't.
