It's been a long time since I visited this website and have never posted in this section as I have not had the misfortune of losing someone close to suicide. I am however seeking the advice of those who have. I've suffered with depression since I was 13 and although I've got better at coping, the feelings themselves have never subsided. For the last 6 years, since the birth of my little brother, he has been the sole reason I've kept going. I've hung around not because I want to but because of guilt over the idea of putting him through losing me. But recently I've come to realize that I may actually be doing more harm than good. Aside from my depression, I also suffer with extreme anxiety that leaves me mostly housebound and as a result I have been out of work/education basically my brothers entire life. I barely leave my room, I have no friends, I can't travel and have been unable to find work that suits my needs. What kind of example am I leaving for him? We lost a close family member a couple of years ago and it did really hurt my little brother, but I was shown just how resilient a child can be. As much as he misses his Nan, you'd never know she'd have passed if you were to talk to him. He's still a happy, normal little 6 year old. He's proved that losing a family member doesn't have to change the way he is or the way he'll grow up, but seeing someone he looks up to constantly miserable, out of work and alone might. I don't want him to grow up and end up like me because he thinks it's okay, or worse, because he wants to be like me. I know it is the instinctive and protective nature of people here to choose the answer that is more likely to keep someone alive, but at this stage whether I follow through or not is not going to be affected by what I hear here, it'll only change the level of guilt I feel leading up to it, so please be honest. If anyone here has lost someone to suicide when they were around that age, or has lost someone and knows a child roughly the same age that was affected, could you please tell me; Do you/they get over it? Is losing someone close to suicide something a child can recover from or is it something that could really mess them up for life?