Is there a sense to life...

[Martyn]

Hello,

It is December 26th, the worst of the Christmas period is over, at least I hope so. It is my first Christmas since my dad passed away earlier this year. I have no more direct relative. Mum died ten years ago and my brother way, way back in 1986 (bike accident). I missed them so much. Going through the Christmas period was not too bad at first. I simply pretended Christmas was not there...that it was just an extra weekend in the middle of the week. It caught to me last night as I was alone at home. I did not want to call my friends because they would not make any sense to what I have to say. They would have thought that I was crazy.

It seems that life without siblings is senseless. I eat, work, sleep and run (i'm a long distance runner) each day, and I started all over again the following day. Life without loved one is no life. Sometimes, I ask myself "what is the point in all of this?"..."I am just "killing time", waiting for my own death?"

I miss my family, I miss it so much...

 

[flowers]

Thats really sad. Your dad passed away earlier this year. And no other family. I am so sorry, seriously. Of course that is painful. I hope someday you can have a significant other... husband or wife to become your family. But for right now, thats really so hard.

I know that some people feel like people here are their family. I also know that people on a website do not take the place of family when you are missing your mom and dad and brother. But this is a good community to come to and be able to talk about things. No one judges. Because we all are in pain. And your pain sure is significant with no family to be with at christmastime.

 

[George Bailey]

I truely feel your pain. this year i have lost everyone who is dear to me and have asked the exact same questions. it doesnt matter whether its christmas day or just a normal weekday missin those close to you just rips your heart out however as flowers so rightly stated we cannot replace your family but we can be here to help and support you through the dark times. I go through the same eat, work, sleep routine everyday like a hamster on its wheel keep replaying the same day over and over again. its working out how to break this cycle, for you the start could be to join a local running club just to have others to run with just to take your mind off your situation even if its for a nano-second (it sounds carp i know). go out with your friends, again its breakin the pattern you have got into as a protection against reality. none if this is easy but give it a try you might be surprised how supportive your friends are.

 

[Martyn]

Thank you so much for the support Flowers and George. George, your suggestion is excellent. It is true that by going through the same motiosn, day after day, I sought a refuge against reality. I ended up with a feeling of numbness and emptiness...going thru life without feeling anything, except pain. Breaking that cycle may be the key.