Trying hard not to give up and trying hard to stay positive and keep moving forward. Was okay yesterday, but frustrated right now. Been fighting off this depression for quite some time. Struggled off and on with an eating disorder in the past. Recently, been dealing with suicidal thoughts that wouldn't go away. Still there but not bad. Now been so hungry and feeling triggered - fighting off slipping back into ED behaviors. Just frustrated that if it's not one thing it's another. Will I ever break free from this tormenting mind that just wants to destroy me? So exhausted in dealing with these struggles. So exhausted in burdening everyone. Just drained. Just wanting to sleep and hoping this will disappear. Just don't want to face this anymore. So sorry everyone. I have been letting everyone down.