Is there anything left to live for?

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#1
I hate my life. Everything is a mess. I am 17. I am a drop out from high school and I have depression. I am in love with my ex who I lost my virginity to and who is with someone new now, even though the reason they say they left me was because they were graduating then they just go out with someone new. I understand if they did this to not hurt me as much but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I think about her constantly. I havn't taken my pills in two days and I barely have any friends anymore. I only have one that I even see in real life now. The pain is so much I cry myself to sleep at night. I can't find anything fun to do to get my mind of things because it becomes boring within two minutes. I am withering away to nothing in this peice of shit house with no running water, a schizophrenic mom, and an angry alcoholic dad. The only thing I have left is hope that one day my dream of marrying someone I love will come true. I know I won't get over her until I find someone new, I never have managed to before and the likelyhood of that happening is near 0. I don't know what to do with myself. Every second is misery and dispare. I stopped seeing my councilor because they weren't really the right person for me and I didn't like them that much. I need a way to vent and theres never anyone to talk to online. I wish I could just commit suicide to show everyone how much I suffer and go through but I doubt I ever could. I doubt myself about everything. I doubt I will ever be happy and living seems like one big road of anguish. I need help and I don't know where to turn.
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
Right, firstly TAKE YOUR MEDS!!! then sort out a new counsellor. You are obviously profoundly depressed and until you get help with that you wont be able to deal with anything else.

Put dating on the back burner for a bit hun, a relationship is not what you need at the moment. A relationship with yourself is what you need, getting your head straight and the depression under control.

PM me if you need to talk.
 
E

ealdc

#3
By not taking your meds you are allowing it to get worse. Some med's cause withdrawal and that will SUCK!

I too think that finding true love will solve lots of problems but everyone i talk to tells me that isn't true. I don't know if i believe them, but hopefully one day I will find out.

There are decisions out there that people make that will enevitible make their life worse. Things like taking drugs, smoking, sleeping around, and anything that takes over your life in a negative way. The more you let your ex take over your life the worse it will get. Try your hardest to move on.

If you are ashamed that you are a high school drop out, but think it's too late to go back, try taking a course elsewhere. If you think you'll regret not getting your diploma, maybe make that a priority. If $$ is an issue, try getting a job...

But take your pills!
 
#4
I took my pills and I do feel a bit better and your right I need a new councilor, and in two days I'm meeting with my psychiatrist so I can see what options I have there. I am going to try not thinking about her and forgetting her again. I will keep thinking "I can move on".
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#5
You can hun. My husband walked out after 10 years with no warning and for the first few months I thought I'd never get over it. I still cry sometimes and then pain can hit you out of nowhere (a song, a memory, a film you watched together), but there is still life and while there's life there's hope.
 
#6
I hope that every thing will work out for I have learned that taken my meds help alot I am here alot and you can pm if you want and we can talk. I dont no you but I no what it is like to feel like there is no one there to listen. I stay in my house and I dont leave, any way I hope you get the help that you need and that it works for you :biggrin:
 
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