I'm diagnosed as having Schizoaffective Disorder. I'm feeling really confused. I'm really struggling with processing my nan's passing. I know grief is normal and that I am grieving. But it is clearly triggering something in me. Normally when I'm depressed I have low mood, tearfulness, lack of motivation, suicidal thoughts etc. But what I'm dealing with right now is quite different to how I normally feel. I feel withdrawn, anhedonic but not low as such, not wanting or knowing that I should be taking care of my personal hygiene, or my appearance. I am also hearing voices (which I know is a positive symptom). It doesn't make sense. I feel muddled and confused. I don't know what's going on. Am I relating more to the schizophrenia part of my illness? I want to make sense of it. My thoughts are all muddled and I don't think they are mine.