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Is this ok?

#1
Hi, I just need to know something...

I've tried to open up to my mother about my suicidal thoughts twice... she answered me that she didn't care and that I'm crazy, both times.
She also said that I should just go ahead and do it if I dared.

I told her about this when we were arguing, so you could say that she was just mad and ended up saying those things, but at the same time it really felt like that's how she really feels. Every time we argue she tells me everything she hates about me and everything I do wrong (this has happened a lot of times).

Is this normal? Maybe I'm just misinterpretating it and it's totally okay that this happens but I really need to know...
Thanks in advance.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
#2
Nope. I hope it is NOT normal, because that is an incredibly unhealthy thing to say. I have a mother who just changes the subject if I talk about my mental health struggles, though, so I have experience with trying to open up and getting shut down. It feels pretty bad, doesn’t it?

There’s more I can say, but I don’t know which direction to go in first. Your situation sounds very painful and I think you might be receiving abuse. Please take care of yourself and do whatever is the best option you can create at the time.
 

full

SF Supporter
#3
In a moment of argument people say things they dont really mean. And yes, there are plenty of parents who see more bad than good in their kids. Is it normal, I dont know. I am not normal.
 

Harmony

Well-Known member
SF Supporter
#4
This is NOT normal and constitutes verbal abuse even during an argument. Your mother has some emotional dysregulation going on and that is why it comes out during those times and the pattern persists and repeats itself. Still, it is not OK.

Is there any way you could seek out support from someone else? A psychologist or counselor perhaps? Even a general practitioner. They may then refer you to a psychiatrist if need be.

I'm sorry you have had to hear these things and that you are feeling suicidal.
 

AmberMarie

SF Supporter
#5
This must have been a very difficult question for you to ask. When a loved one treats us differently than how we think they should, it begins to make a person question what is "right and wrong".

i empathize with you. It is difficult to be going through any mental health issues, let alone when you feel so alone. When reaching out to someone you feel should be helping, and to be basically smacked back down makes dealing with it even worse.

No matter the issues at hand, it is never ok for someone to be verbally abusive like that. True, she must be going through her own mental issues, however it still does not give a person the right to be abusive.

Please try and seek help from a trusted source. It might actually get you both the help you both may need and in turn might help your relationship become amazing.
 
#7
What your mom said to you is messed up. No one should say things like that to anyone, but especially not a mother to her child.

I hope it doesn't reflect her true feelings, but she shouldn't have said this to you no matter what.
 

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