K so I have problems with depression and other stuff blah blah blah I find something actually makes me feel better when its not really supposed to. I am hoping at least 1 other person can relate to it.
When I am really feeling bad I don't do what many often tell me which is try to make myself cheerful with nice music or watch something that makes me laugh I actually do the total opposite! I often search out and find deliberate sad or unfortunate true stories in order to relate them to myself for confirmation that I am not as bad as I thought. For example on another forum I was on recently a mother was talking about the distress she had been through because her 19 year old son was convicted of attempting to lure and have sex with a 15 year old girl from the internet. His life is basically now ruined through forever having that conviction under his name. Other charges can sometimes be looked past but anything to do with children is an instant life over type charge. The mother expressed the son had a big future planned with many prospects which have all now been flushed right down the toilet since doing this and being added to the sex offenders register. Reading this for me was something of a relief, yes it was sad but the guy made the decision himself to do the crime. I do find a degree of contentment knowing my life will never be that bad as how his will be from such a young age knowing no matter what he tries to become or do he will be forever shunned and hated upon for his crime.
I feel bad some too that I am finding selfish contentment on the downfall/suffering of others and putting it to use realizing I could be so much worse but I figure hey whatever works! I don't find the contentment in the suffering of others, I only find the contentment in knowing it wasn't me and how my life will be way easier compared to them.
Any thoughts on this please.
When I am really feeling bad I don't do what many often tell me which is try to make myself cheerful with nice music or watch something that makes me laugh I actually do the total opposite! I often search out and find deliberate sad or unfortunate true stories in order to relate them to myself for confirmation that I am not as bad as I thought. For example on another forum I was on recently a mother was talking about the distress she had been through because her 19 year old son was convicted of attempting to lure and have sex with a 15 year old girl from the internet. His life is basically now ruined through forever having that conviction under his name. Other charges can sometimes be looked past but anything to do with children is an instant life over type charge. The mother expressed the son had a big future planned with many prospects which have all now been flushed right down the toilet since doing this and being added to the sex offenders register. Reading this for me was something of a relief, yes it was sad but the guy made the decision himself to do the crime. I do find a degree of contentment knowing my life will never be that bad as how his will be from such a young age knowing no matter what he tries to become or do he will be forever shunned and hated upon for his crime.
I feel bad some too that I am finding selfish contentment on the downfall/suffering of others and putting it to use realizing I could be so much worse but I figure hey whatever works! I don't find the contentment in the suffering of others, I only find the contentment in knowing it wasn't me and how my life will be way easier compared to them.
Any thoughts on this please.
