It Shouldn't Bother Me This Much

Since coming to college, my friends have all seemed to be getting happier, while I've just been getting so much worse. One of the main problems is boys. I know it sounds silly, but after 18 years of being single and not even having my first kiss yet, it starts to wear you down, especially when, one by one, my closest friends are finding boys and going on dates, and the only times I have thought maybe, finally, I've found someone, they've stopped talking to me after I have had to push them off me while I was in my dorm alone and they tried something. Not the best experience of my life.

I'm in a musical theater program, and not to whip out stereotypes or anything, but there is one straight guy in my class, so, of course it's going to make things more difficult, and I understand that. But to top things off and make them especially more challenging, I'm waiting until after I'm married to have sex. So far that fact has been the cause of three boys dropping me like a hot potato even before we started dating or I had even gotten to the point of knowing I liked them enough to let them kiss me.

It should not bother me so much to see my friends so happy, especially since one of them is on medication for depression, but I feel like they all like to rub it in my face and half the time I think I make the things they say to me up in my head. I feel like they talk down to me, like they're telling me I'm worthless and ugly and alone and that they know that nothing will ever change. I have no self-esteem to begin with, and this is not helping. I just want to curl up on the bathroom floor and cry for hours, but my roommates would probably get concerned

 

All i can say is good for you for standing by your values. If these boys drop yu because of it then you know they are just out for one thing and thank god you didn't give it to them. The right guy will come alone and appreciate you and your values Will take the time to know you I think in this time of age you are a diamond and any guy would be lucky to have you as a friend. Don't loose faith yet okay. You are so worth keeping your values and the idiots who don't see that are not worth anything.

 

Thanks It just gets hard sometimes, especially with things like Facebook and Twitter, where it's just all over the place. I know I should probably get rid of technology like that, but it's just as much of an addiction as worse things.