So many times in the past year, I've found myself wishing I could have just one more talk, one more thing to laugh about, one more "i love you" from my dad, and my mom. I'm in my 50's and I don't know if I'm childish.... it should be easier? for someone my age to cope. My parents had faults. One of them was not being able to admit faults. But after, and years before they died, I knew I had forgiven them. It took trying to see what made them fd up to understand. Some things that happened I'll never understand. Dad, if I could say one thing, it would be sorry I left you with my brother. Sorry I sometimes was so tired I didn't check on you and put blankets back on you. Sorry I didn't hug you, but that was always a weird thing between us. Mom, I do know you loved me even though you were verbally very hurtful. You had too much on your mind. You suffered from depression, it wasn't your fault. I'm going to the cemetary often, leaving more things there. I think it's time to stop going so often, as nothing can bring you back, and I hope you are both in heaven, or asleep and at peace. I wasn't an easy child and I hope you forgave me. Whatever I resented, I need to release it and remember you two tried. Thank you, I wish you could hear me.
