It's me hi, I'm the problem it's me

[PrincessPure]

Everyday is a struggle. I am this one girl who no one noticed is struggling in the background. I am broke, yet can't control my emotional spending. I need a scholarship so bad yet can't sit my ass and study. I have no decent sleep. Barely function with coffee. Not at peace in home so I only come home to sleep. Can't feel close to anyone and just lost a best friend. Far away from mom and dad I'm not used to, in a country where I struggle to speak the language more than ordering a coffee or holding a daily conversation. Have anxiety yet studying probably the most stressful major to ever exist and not feeling smart enough for it.
I know barely anyone here knows me and I know this isn't the right place to write this, but I guess this shows how desperate I am because I can't even afford to see a psychologist.
I'm so sorry for my existence. Just pass by.

 

[I Love Tomorrow]

I know barely anyone here knows me and I know this isn't the right place to write this

I don't think that's true. And this is the place to write this.

All I can say is life is about living and then hopefully learning from it, to change something for the better or learn a new way to survive what's going to be thrown at you. Emotional spending for example I think is something that's learned how to control with time, it's not going to happen overnight. I think you have courage to do what you've done already in going to a different country to try and better yourself through education. I don't think I could've done something like that.

Another thing I would say, is maybe try being more focused on your goal, remember why you are doing what you're doing; what's important to you and why. It may give you a boost, or solid perspective about where you are in life and where you're headed(or want to be headed). take care,