It's only depression, right?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by pirategirl, Apr 16, 2015.

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  1. pirategirl

    pirategirl Active Member

    I feel like I shouldn't feel this bad... I only have depression... I don't have PTSD or schizophrenia or BPD or an ED or anything. Just depression. Add to that the fact that I come from a good middle-class family, have a good education, good friends, have had reasonable jobs... So I have depression. That shouldn't make me feel this bad, surely? There's no reason for it. I think this is what my psychiatrist thinks. He says I need to start looking at and developing my strengths instead of concentrating on the negative stuff, and that if I had some confidence I would be ok. I feel like just having depression means I shouldn't feel this way. Other people have much worse troubles than I do. I have no right to be suicidal. I have no right to be off sick. I have no right to feel this way.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Depression does not discriminate and it hurts it takes everything away You should not compare yourself with others ok We all suffer our own pains no less or more then what you are feeling
  3. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    Depression is an extremely serious mental illness. It is sometimes terminal. You can't get much more serious than that. People who suffer from it can attest to the fact that it is not "only" anything, although like many illnesses, it presents with different levels of severity.

    I think total eclipse is absolutely right in telling you not to compare your situation with that of anyone else. The only time that is useful is when used as a technique to practice gratitude. Practicing gratitude is a technique of self-healing. E.g. I know someone who went blind. It makes me grateful for my vision. That thought shouldn't be followed by thoughts that "....therefore I am a loser because that person has it so much worse than I do and I still can't cope." I'm just grateful for my vision, period. The feeling of gratitude lightens the pain a little bit.

    I think it is really important to acknowledge that you hurt so much. Part of healing is understanding your pain and in order to do that, you have to acknowledge it is there. If you deny it, it just keeps at you, coming out in all kinds of ways All the positive thinking in the world isn't going to make it go away. And besides, sometimes depression is so severe that it is impossible to practice positive thinking. If you can do it, fine. It's a useful technique. If you can't, then that's an indicator of how severe your depression is. Either way, covering up or denying the reality of your pain doesn't work.

    It is not a bad thing to focus on your strengths. It's just a mind trick you use to help yourself feel better. At least that's how I see it. It's only part of the healing process, though. You really need to "name" your pain so you can start to release it.

    I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now. Depression sucks, it really does.
  4. pirategirl

    pirategirl Active Member

    Thanks for the reassurances... it's so easy to look and think I have so little wrong with me compared to some people.

    I think the problem with focussing on my strengths is that I don't think I have any. Even the ones I used to have have gone away.
  5. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    If you feel you don't have any strengths, it's kinda hard to focus on them, isn't it? I remember filling out a questionnaire during a recent hospitalization where they asked that and I couldn't think of a single one. It seemed depression had robbed me of them.

    Here's one for you: you don't indulge in self pity, shown by the fact that you actually question if you're justified in hurting so much.

    Here's another: you are aware of, and caring about the situations other people find themselves in as shown by your comments that other people have it worse. From this comes empathy.

    Maybe you can only ID very small strengths right now while your depression is so bad. They are the basis of greater strengths, though so acknowledging them is a good place to start.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Of course you have the right to feel the way you do. Depression comes in all sizes and can affect anyone. I think therapy would be helpful to you. Try and not to compare illnesses because everyone deals and copes with things differently. Please seek help from a professional. You deserve to :)
  7. pirategirl

    pirategirl Active Member

    Thanks ChestnutMay... that's really... actually, quite challenging! I'm comfortable thinking of myself as having no strengths... I've been brought up to think that you don't say positive things about yourself, that's for other people to do... to even think something positive about myself seems unconscionable!

    Petal, thank you... I am seeing various professionals (psychiatrist, psychologist, recovery worker, occupational therapist, GP) so am getting plenty of input... it's just that somehow these feelings have never really gone away. :S
  8. davidIce

    davidIce Member

    I was curious to read your post - its seems the 'fashion' at the moment for the medical profession to treat depression as an 'illness' in its own right. From my own perspective I am not sure about this. I feel like I am in a no win situation - meaning like whatever I try and do I am bound to lose. In my own mind I have plenty of 'reasons' to be depressed. So would be interested if you get 'better' and it is 'only' and illness. My theory is that I lack essential life skills - which unless I can address, however positive I become I will fall back into my nightmare. Hope you do get better and sorry if this is confusing for you.
  9. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure what it's like to have severe depression. They think that what's going on with me is Schizophrenia, but I'm not sure. It doesn't help me to focus on positive things as it won't change what's happening in my mind. People have told me to focus on positive things, but it's hard to see anything positive when I hurt so bad mentally. You shouldn't feel as if you have no right to feel bad or be concerned with others who may have it worse than you do. If you feel bad then you do. Hopefully treatment will help in your case, but we can't always control how we feel. All that we can do is seek help.
  10. Stacey84

    Stacey84 Well-Known Member

    I used to think "It's only depression" years ago... Then I got depression and that's when everything changed for the worse.
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