I've been in Therapy and taking meds for over 10 years but still the same

[ace]

I've been in Therapy and taking meds for well over 10 years but I still am struggling like hell.I have OCD,BDD,Major and Bi Polar depression and Anxiety I've found it terribly hard to improve after so many years.As time has gone by especially the last five years my conditions have gotten alot worse severely.

I don't know why things have gotten so severe I've been seeing my Dr(Psychiatrist)and Psychologist but things have been such a battle.I blame myself so often but get told I shouldn't be doing that as with all the conditions it's all very complicated.I've spent stays in hospital,had ECT(shock treatment) more than once but all the same still struggling.

I don't want to go on with the same story but I've had so much Therapy,CBT,all kinds of different meds you name it but life is still shit as.Maybe it really is just me that is hopeless,the only real person I haven't seen properly is a BDD specialist,I have his details saw him once he was real nice but he's not so close to home,and didn't want to be seeing so many people at once.

Anyway I won't go on and on anymore I'm sure I've explained my story in full detail here that many times,and I don't want to bore anyone else out.

 

[total eclipse]

Hi Ace your illness hard to treat not you at all. You are a fighter you will always have that fightr in you. It may not seem so but it there I just don't want you to give up hope okay. Each year there are new meds that are made to help the depression that is long term Look into a hospital that gives new drugs the trial drugs to see if they will help. Camh in Ontario does that There is still tomorrow still hope Ace Please do not feel bad okay if you get some release from posting from letting out the sadness then do it. i know it is hard i understand i do but just don't give up hugs

 

[aoeu]

How often do you cycle when unmedicated? Or medicated works too. Is it greater than 4 depression+manic cycles per year?

 

[ace]

Thank you for your warm replies yeh it's a real bummer to say the least living like this.My Psychologist and Psychiatrist say the same thing about trying to treat all my illnesses and conditions.aoeu I rapid cycle nealy as much much medicated or unmedicated I remember.I've been on meds for that many years now and have been told I have a treament resistant depression.

Last night I was lying in bed again thinking of getting up and doing something,either I was too lazy or just a coward to try anything.I don't know really how long I can keep on resisting the nasty thoughts though sorry.

 

[aoeu]

Okay, well, rapid cycling bipolar is usually medication resistant. There's no reason to believe you'd improve on meds.

Try the dark therapy in my sig. I suggest you use the brutal total darkness method, try it for a period including at least 2 manic periods. If it works, try the yellow light method.

If you find you can't do the total darkness method, try the yellow light method. But try to do the total darkness, if that fails despite strict compliance, it's not for you (I'm almost positive it will work, though.)

Further, I suggest you enter an intensive therapy. My mom had about the same as you had, PTSD instead of OCD and BDD, the most important thing she ever did was a 2 year, 40 hour/week mixed (group/individual) therapy.

It's time to get better at any cost.

 

[ace]

Thank you aoeu for your reply I've tried that many meds without success and had that much Therapy as well.I'm not saying nothing can help just after so long you lose hope and faith.I'll see what I can do about following your methods thank you.After so many years of everything I don't know what to try or do anymore,I hate living that's one thing and If I had the courage maybe I would be able to end it.

 

[aoeu]

I know. I think psychiatry has fucked you pretty badly, though. It's fucked a lot of people with bipolar and especially rapid cycling bipolar over. Rapid cycling bipolar is medication resistant. Things that oughtn't have worked haven't worked. You put your faith in the wrong people/methods...

Read this. This fellow had completely whacked out rapid cycling bipolar disorder for decades, his mood is tracked there for three years of complete treatment failure. Then he started on dark therapy and just stopped. His mood looks completely normal afterwards, a tiny amount of variation like you'd probably find with anyone.

Later, it goes on to look at a study that shows that for acute mania, dark therapy is better than the most intense medication.

Anecdotally, I found no impact from high doses of atypical antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. I still cycled every month. Since I started dark therapy I basically just stopped cycling, except that I'm not the strictest at this so a couple failures have happened. This is why I suggest you start with the pure form as strictly as possible, so you can see that it actually works really well. After you've gained confidence in it you'll be able to experience occasional failure without losing faith, so you can relax a bit.

I know you said you'd try it, but I'd still like to convince you that it works well, blind faith doesn't lead to much confidence for most people.

As for psychotherapy, in my experience therapy doesn't have a chance unless appropriate medication is in place.

 

[Aaron]

I know. I think psychiatry has fucked you pretty badly, though. It's fucked a lot of people with bipolar and especially rapid cycling bipolar over. Rapid cycling bipolar is medication resistant. Things that oughtn't have worked haven't worked. You put your faith in the wrong people/methods...

Read this. This fellow had completely whacked out rapid cycling bipolar disorder for decades, his mood is tracked there for three years of complete treatment failure. Then he started on dark therapy and just stopped. His mood looks completely normal afterwards, a tiny amount of variation like you'd probably find with anyone.

Later, it goes on to look at a study that shows that for acute mania, dark therapy is better than the most intense medication.

Anecdotally, I found no impact from high doses of atypical antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. I still cycled every month. Since I started dark therapy I basically just stopped cycling, except that I'm not the strictest at this so a couple failures have happened. This is why I suggest you start with the pure form as strictly as possible, so you can see that it actually works really well. After you've gained confidence in it you'll be able to experience occasional failure without losing faith, so you can relax a bit.

I know you said you'd try it, but I'd still like to convince you that it works well, blind faith doesn't lead to much confidence for most people.

As for psychotherapy, in my experience therapy doesn't have a chance unless appropriate medication is in place.

I have rapid cycling BP and my meds are working, and have been working fine for nearly two years, not that I don't have my moments, but they are kept to a minimum, I think it's all about getting the right combination of meds.

 

[aoeu]

It's good when they do, but they're much less likely to work than for regular bipolar - it was originally called lithium-resistant bipolar because lithium only works in 20% of cases.

In general I don't think meds are the best first response to rapid cycling bipolar. More research is needed to prove this method I espouse, though (but the funding is lacking because no one profits from this working.)

 

[Aaron]

Yes but there are so many meds on the market that it could be years before you could find the right combination the combinations one could go through are probably in their thousands.

I don't believe it's because they are not out there it's finding them that's the problem, I think I've been really lucky.

 

[ace]

Thank you for your replies I've been on lithium for a fair while and know this doesn't help me at all.I've tried it numerous times in the past but for each period it's done nothing,now my Dr still wants me to stay on it for the time being.