I've decided, and now I feel almost cheerful.

I've decided to do it. There's no turning back. I'm going to starve myself to something near death. Then, I'll overwhelm my emaciated body with a staggering amount of drugs and alcohol. This is my slow and silent suicide. That gives you about two months to lie to me- to tell me that everything will be okay.

Well, it won't be. Because I'm in control now. Finally. I'll document my experience here. If I stop turning up, you can assume one of two things:

1.) I've lost control and am eating again.
2.) I'm gone.

The second is unlikely because I think I will post before I do it finally. Suicide letter to all you people who don't know me. The first is unlikely because I've never been filled with this great of a desire to end it all, and to go out in artistic style. So you can count on me showing up now and again.

I can't wait to be free of this dead weight: my body!

 

fight like a soldier..be in the battle field...n y do u wanna suicide? pls share if possible.

 

I'm tired of this struggle-- of all these ups which lead inevitably to devastating downs. I'm tired of monotomy. I'm tired of depression.

I'm just too tired.

And I need control.

 

Pain Is Temporary

 

What prompted you to choose this route? I doubt I'd have the willpower to use it. Though I'm so fat it would probably take me about a year anyway.

Well, if you're going to be coming here on a fairly frequent basis it won't exactly be silent. Slow, I agree.

Is there something else you'd like posters here to say?

Curious sort of "control." With this much willpower you think you'd be able to stomp flat anybody who was making your life miserable, not have to direct it inward.

Oftentimes my own sentiment, can't begrudge it from you.

 

Hi please don't do anything foolish. Your well being is very important to all of us. Starving yourself and doing these things is not good for you. Please talk with us.

 

i'm thinking of starving myself too. except tonight i had two pieces of pizza. it's hard to avoid in college!
i hear about girls who carry on anorexia for so long, they have heart attacks. so i figure, if i can't be dead, i can still be beautiful. and that might give me a reason not to kill myself.
yes, i understand i'm not helping here. sorry.