Jim’s “...on hold...” Café November 5, 2020

[Aurelia]

When I saw "on hold" in the title, I immediately thought of being on methadone and how your dose gets put "on hold" until you do group. Those are the two dreaded words one never wants to hear when coming up to the dosing window. Man, I've been a drug addict way too long. Bad memories, bad memories...

 

[Aurelia]

THE Qs:
(pick one question to answer or two or three or more to your liking, or make up your own.
• who writes that “on hold” music?
• and who is/are the artists that play it?
• do you love that music?
• was recorded to make you hang up in disgust? ...or do they play your favorite tune?
• “we’re glad you called”. are they really glad?
• do they really value your call like they say / is your call really important to them?

1. CIA agents who specialize in torture.
2. The worst ones imaginable. The only thing more annoying would probably be Taylor Swift.
3. That's like asking, "Do you love getting your fingernails slowly ripped out with a pair of pliers?"
4. Clearly, they do everything possible to annoy you enough to make you hang up because they don't want to deal with you.
5. Fuck no, they're not glad.
6. Sure. About as much as calorie intake is important when one is high out of their mind on pot.

 

[kat319]

I used to argue about sounding robotic. There are, at least at one place I worked, monetary incentives for getting high scores. It wasn't worth it to me. If someone is already frustrated, why irritate them more with my stupid checklist? Who cares if I didn't say 'xyz' within the first minute of the call? I did eventually say it. Then again, I was in college and passing through. If it is your permanent job, I can see sticking to the script.

 

[BlueGreen]

Thanks for the tag @extraterrestrialone!

Well, funny you should ask....I used to be a receptionist/telephonist in a former life and I always answered straight away, let people know exactly what was happening or what the delay was. In one place I worked, we used to pride ourselves on answering before the caller even heard it ring! But people always complained. They would get hysterical or angry if you left them more than a minute. So now what we have, with these awful answering services is the solution. People literally got what they asked for. I have no sympathy. We used to get shouted at and had such a bad reputation (yes, often deserved too) so someone came up with this solution and now everyone waits for ages. So to answer one of the questions, are they happy? Yes, they are because once the call is answered and you're on hold, someone somewhere is making money from you.

What am I waiting for? I don't know, a kinder world? I'm forever hopeful but not too optimistic.

I hope everyone is doing well and has a great weekend!

 

[bubblebear]

thank u for opening cafe. i dont like being on hold because its very expensive for phone. i heard someone say before that the on hold music is made up by singers that are stoned. today is very cold in germany. i want to make hot tea to drink but i also going into kitchen makes me anxious. so we'll see. i turned on my heating at least so room will warm up soon. happy bulbasaur everyone!

 

[bubblebear]

come join @Chipetele @Citizen Insane @Optimistic Goatman @whytryanymore @Tamex

 

[JMG]

Tysm for the tag @extraterrestrialone & sorry for being here late. I think I have answers for all (or most, anyway) of these fun q's so here they are then

who writes that “on hold” music?
Lol I read various people's answers to this q & I think they were all very funny & clever but the one I pick as mine as well (sorry to be a copycat or w/e but can't think of a better or funnier one than this that's for damn sure lol) is the one Aurelia gave, CIA agents specializing in torture, lmao! :p

and who is/are the artists that play it?
Same answer as above, or people they hired I guess. Lol. :p

do you love that music?
Heck no. Whether it's the lame, electronic/robot sounding nonsense or more "current" supposedly "popular" music, it's just kinda annoying. They should just stick to classical and nothing else imo.

was recorded to make you hang up in disgust? ...or do they play your favorite tune?
Lol. Maybe - to the first q.
Extremely rarely - to the 2nd

“we’re glad you called”. are they really glad?
Nah, they're just told to say that to make people feel like a "valued" customer or w/e. Lol :p

do they really value your call like they say / is your call really important to them?
Only in terms of hoping you'll continue to be a customer for them so they can continue making money from your business. It's definitely not "personal" at all that's for damn sure.

what do you hold dear?
All the good things I have and enjoy. Also family & my friend ❤

are you waiting with bated breath?
Lol not at the moment no. Most of the time the answer is the same, just a waste of time & energy. Have no expectations, never be disappointed, that is one of my mottos. Another one is "always be prepared".

Whats the longest you have ever been on hold?
Prob. about an hour & a half, really sux to be on hold longer than half an hour imo but guess some places are either busy, understaffed or...? Who knows what goes on at those places I guess lol.

Have you ever been disconnected immediately at the moment they finally picked up after an excessively long hold?
Yup, it's very annoying.

What do you do to smile and keep holding on?
Lots of things but mainly just try to remember why I've held on so long, the good things both in my life and life in general and feeling gratitude for those good things. Reading, writing, nature, animals, my sweet perfect lil kitty, coming on here, going on Color Lovers, going on facebook to play some games, thinking of Star Wars and Mark Hamill (of course, lol) all kinds of things

What do you hold dear? What is really important?
Same answer as above for the first one, and for the second I think just trying to pass on as much positive energy into this world as possible, or at least do no intentional harm to another as much as you can. Enjoying life without intentionally trying to stop others from doing the same. Ideally, enjoying life and intentionally trying to HELP others enjoy their life as well ❤

 

[KM76710]

No going on hold for me, I just hang up after a few minutes so I avoid most things. I may call back later, but if it is longer than say 5 minutes gone again.

What do I hold dear, almost nothing fazes me but there are members of my immediate family more important to me than myself.

 

[Bbear82]

The hold music if that’s what you want to call it makes me more frustrated then I was when I called in. What really gets to me is when you call and they pick up and ask can you hold before I even get a chance to answer they already put me on hold. The longest I have ever been on hold was almost three hours.

 

[dandelions]

When I saw "on hold" in the title, I immediately thought of being on methadone and how your dose gets put "on hold" until you do group. Those are the two dreaded words one never wants to hear when coming up to the dosing window. Man, I've been a drug addict way too long. Bad memories, bad memories...

hey Aurelia, sorry it took me til now to get back here. “on hold” brings discomfort to me in many ways also - and perhaps even at times some “dread” - yet in ways that are surely not as significant as what you are describing. this is something i admit i was not aware of and i am sorry for awakening those bad memories for you. i’m glad you pointed that out. and of course here’s a big “yup” to all your Qs answers.