Hey
@Angie, this is another really interesting, thought-provoking question. Thanks for opening, and for tagging me.
What does a "good" day look like to you? Does that definition change depending on how you are doing in general? What things do you do in order to have a "good" day?
It's interesting that you ask it that way, because yeah, i feel like my definitions have radically altered over the last few months. It used to be that a "good" day was one where i managed to battle my way out from under the heel of my depression, where i managed to get my mind to quiet for once, and just be present and serene. Something inside me, that i can finally put a name to, was constantly screaming out in pain, and it was hard to enjoy anything through that pain, so it was hard work to have a good day.
Back then, a good day was definitely more the exception than the rule. I think that's why i became such a heavy stoner for a few years, because it was the only way i could quiet down enough of my brain to have fairly consistently good days. I needed that crutch because every day was more likely to be bad than good without it. And that made me afraid to, say, go visit my dad for the weekend and leave the weed at home. I couldn't be without it for those 2 days. And it's why i was happy to take whatever drugs were being offered, because the more of the pain i could silence the better.
But now, i think any good day is a day that isn't an actively bad day. Something needs to be going majorly, tangibly wrong, in order for me to decide that wasn't a good day. Any day where things are going meh or better, that's a good day.
So now the good days are more the rule than the exception, which is awesome.
