🧐 Sorry if it makes you sad, that is something I very much understand. I hope you keep being you, and yet, if you want to tone down, then it's perhaps part of life to compartmentalize certain bits of ourselves. Not sure how relaistic for me, I don't seem to be able to keep it under wraps for long.
@dandelion s thank you, I'm glad to feel less alone.
🤗
hey seabird, thanks. this makes me think more and I want to add and mention that the "sad" i have will always be a part of my life for reasons very other than what we are talking about in this thread. just want to make it clear that it is not a problem with the conversation itself.
MY NOTE HERE AFTER WRITING THE WHOLE REPLY IS THAT WHAT FOLLOWS MAY BE SEEN AS A BIT OVER THE TOP FOR CAFE TALK SO PLEASE SKIP OVER WHAT I'VE WRITTEN THAT FOLLOWS IN THIS POST IF YOU THINK READING THINGS WITH A WARNING AHEAD OF IT WOULD BE TOO MUCH TO READ. BUT IT IS APPROPRIATE CONTENT FOR WHAT WAS BEING DISCUSSED AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO PUT IT AND IT BE LINKED TOO IN A TIMELY WAY.
but most definitely these days sadness exists in me with a lot of perspective that i didn't have when i first arrived here on SF years ago. it took a lot of work to arrive where i am now too (and i by no means am implying that things are all peachy now either) but certain things i think for myself and likely anyone, remain a part of life and life expeerience and they don't go away - yet it is possible - i believe to... - yes! - to be viewed and expereinced from a different, safer, better perspective.
one of the most important examples of this is - and i hope i'm not saying anything troubling to other people - can be found and is epitomized in the experience of another person's "passing" and the mourning of that death.
i even think the term "passing" is not suitable. because i think it is much better to celebrate the life from the the sad moment and to fully acknowledge what has happened. maybe here is the only place where i believe in "radical acceptance".
non acknowledgement (and i base this purely on my own life experience and my own reacations during much of the time as simply being unable to understand and deal with my own life experience).
ok, this is probably moving into heaviness - too much for a sunny window seat in the Café. i'm starting to run away with myself - sorry! but let me just finish up - that i find it much better to celebrate someone's life than to suffer their death.
i try to do that because for myself, that way i can ask the question "where can i go from here?" because i need to and because "someone else" will always only be "someone else" and not the self.
i will always be the "self" and for me, it took me 62 years and a lot of the stuff that brought me here in the first place before i was even able to start touching my matters in a safer and positive way.
i figured out early that the dandelion represents the element i need. ITS PERSEVERANCE!!! and if there is anything i can share and hope rubs of for everyone is perseverence. there's a lot of **** out there. a baby and child is not immediately ready to process all that stuff, but it always can be processed in growing, learning evolving ways.
and if like me, it takes you to placese such as gender transitioning as it is happening with me, it is for anyone else to process if they are having trouble understanding this. for me it is simply and undenyingly a life saving thing. that is what i learned while here on SF.
that my sadness is a part of my life and always will be but i gotta keep going and learning and addressing that sadness in the most appropriate ways. denying and rejecting and hating other situations and other people is not going to fix any problems for me or for anyone else. omg. i'm so sorry for this unCafély response.
let me grab a coffee and morning nibbling treat and soak in the rays at my fav window some more. and hope that everyone is celebrating Sunday, Yesterday and now today too. Persevere y'all. 👽
It's just Wee Little Ol`d US~* 
I'm sorry you're sad. I hope you feel much better soon 