That is such a great question to ask!
Three possible titles that I can currently think of :
1. Cigars, Vodka, and Everything in Between : A Journey Through Smoke, Spirits, and Farce.
2. And Then I Was Born: Chronicles of an Unnecessary Existence
3. And Then I Was Born: My Accidental Contribution to Humanity
As an opening line for the memoir "I don’t remember asking to be born, but if you’re reading this, I’m still pissed off about it."