Judged by body always

[Congratsbaby]

I am 17 , will be 18 ADULT next year.
I have heard , I don't look ' mature enough ' body wise so many times that

Kinda just want to spit on this idea. ( That's my ego )

I feel really bad actually. My face had to be certain way. It wasn't in my hands. My ass , boobs more feminine perhaps ( wasn't in my hand either )

And I don't even have a problem with my body. It's just the constant fucking. I need to stop caring about society but God it can be so hard.

Ofcourse one big reason I despise society. ' The standards ' / ' The norms '

Shit.

My dad is an asshole. So whatever he says it. My aunt , mom " she doesn't have a developed body "
In theatres two people said , I don't look 18

A guy stopped flirting with me because my body wasn't what he hoped for ( " a mature teen type " )

But in the midst of it all , sometimes I think about people who didn't care about my body. Interactions with girls and guys that cared about who i am , not this fucked up standard. And YK what ? They found me beautiful just as I am.

I am just disgusted , kinda wanna cry , could be my hormones but also it's just FUCK YOU WORLD

Everytime I think I shouldn't hate you , you prove me wrong. So big fuck you. You've created yourself a mess.

I know I am not alone. But , I am just disgusted, sad and yeah.

Wish it wasn't like this. Any of this. The fam , society , my life in result of it.

Why did humans chose to be ugly when they can not be. I need to work on loving this part of myself so no matter the shit someone says it won't affect me. Hmm.

 

[I_waste_everything]

Hell wiþ þese people. Clearly þey're projecting; þey must know how ugly þey are and instead of amending þemselves, þey choose to bring down a beautiful person.

Þe ceiling of how passionately I bid you good luck getting away from þe toxic influences in your life, gets shattered and built higher wiþ every þread of yours I read.

Let me take some of your pain off your shoulders, as much as I can take away from you. I wish you relief and strengþ surviving þe incontrite animals. I read your words; I know you're beautiful inside and out despite þeir efforts.

Keep holding strong. Keep planning your freedom. Keep faith - in yourself, first and foremost.

 

[Congratsbaby]

Hell wiþ þese people. Clearly þey're projecting; þey must know how ugly þey are and instead of amending þemselves, þey choose to bring down a beautiful person.

Þe ceiling of how passionately I bid you good luck getting away from þe toxic influences in your life, gets shattered and built higher wiþ every þread of yours I read.

Let me take some of your pain off your shoulders, as much as I can take away from you. I wish you relief and strengþ surviving þe incontrite animals. I read your words; I know you're beautiful inside and out despite þeir efforts.

Keep holding strong. Keep planning your freedom. Keep faith - in yourself, first and foremost.

Really difficult , but thankyou. I appreciate it.