Just being a f*ckup as usual

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Thanatar17, Oct 14, 2014.

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  1. Thanatar17

    Thanatar17 New Member

    Welp, as of today I probably can say goodbye to my plans of getting a new gaming pc to replace my 5 year old laptop. I can probably also say goodbye to my hopes of buying all the other things I hoped to get, etc, etc... even give up on my plans to get more socially active, etc.
    In fact, heck- I should probably start packing my things that I only just started unpacking again. And I'll probably be homeless for the second time this year.

    Made the terrible mistake of working where my dad worked. Sure, pay was better than average, though the work was physically demanding and tiring. But had to take rides with him to get there and back, and seeing as he was doing all this, started paying 750$ a month instead of 500$... But worst of all, he was basically imposing his rule on me again, when I'd finally gotten out of it.

    Been working there for a while, and today I call sick just once as, in all honesty, I completely messed up my sleeping schedule over the holiday and had less than an hour of sleep... and I certainly wouldn't be handling 8 hours of manual labor after that...
    Needless to say, he's stated that if anyone asks, he'll tell them what happened; and he'll kick me out instantly should I get fired. One single night and everything goes to hell, after weeks no problem at all; if anything this is the second time anything like this has even happened, and the first time I was with a fever.

    Why I was homeless before, by the way... I turned 18 this year. In the months preceding it I was trying to look for a job as fast as I could thanks to my dad's warning that he would kick me out should I not get a job by then and pay 500 a month. So I got a job(admittedly a few days past my birthday), and was working for over a month in training, during which I didn't get as much work hours as I would have otherwise...
    Anyways, I was learning, things were somewhat fine, the only problem being that I wasn't getting enough hours. My birthday having been on the 21st, I was kind of hit with 2 month's rent, and tried to negotiate for the rent as it was a lot for someone who was working a restaurant job with not enough hours, let alone in training... this along with my not having many hours led my dad to suspect that I had secretly quit. Which I had not. (should note one of his requirements for me being able to live here is having a job. Another one being going to church.)

    So anyways, on a suspicion, I got kicked out. And by that I mean that one day I was sleeping after work, and he came into my room, woke me up, and told me he was going to drive me to the homeless shelter. At the very least I got to ask to have one day to pack and prepare, but basically... yeah.
    He felt bad about it afterwards; bad enough as to invite me to return just as I was starting to get back up from being kicked out.

    One job later (a job I quit due to a shitty boss) he tells me that the place where he works is looking for a laborer at 16$ an hour, and so I accept, the idiot I am. And now I'm screwed.

    Back to homelessness again I guess, hope at least he keeps my stuff for a while. Should I become homeless this time though, I'll have the last laugh when I withdraw enough money from my bank account so that the last check I passed him is considered invalid... should I be tossed into homelessness even after paying rent again, I'm going to keep my rent this time... (last time, when I was kicked out, he refused to return the money I'd paid for rent back)

    Typing this with less than an hour of sleep... not in the mood to sleep now with such a bad morning... not sure if I want to be homeless again, and not sure how to call my boss now...
    I worked hard, etc, etc... sure, today I've messed up. One day out of how many? Of course, I'm not so lucky as to get a single break. If I go down, I'm gonna splurge everything I have and then go down in flames.

    I'm tired, sad, depressed, pissed off, and in all honesty considering just offing myself should worst come to worst rather than return to the streets again. fml
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your father should not be involved in your business he should look after himself and leave you and your business alone. It is your boss that will decide if he keeps you or not and if you have a valid doctors note bring it in to work to show boss you are ill then nothing can be done abt it. You are allowed sick days
  3. Nemo

    Nemo Well-Known Member

    It sounds to me as if your Dad is not being supportive at all. If I were you I'd be wanting to change the situation asap. Are you able to look for another job at the moment? Do what you can do find a new (secure) job and move out?
    You are allowed sick days as Total Eclipse said, and it is your manager's choice if they keep you on or not, so your Dad shouldn't be saying anything about it.
    I hope things pick up and yo umanage to get yourself out of that environment (which sounds very toxic) to become happier and more secure.
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I hope you do not lose your job - $16/hour jobs are not easy to come by. Rather than paying your Dad rent, when you get paid again go get your own place so you do not need to explain these things to your Dad and so your Dad has nothing to say to your work so is not involved in your personal life.
  5. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    It sounds very much to me like you need to find yourself a job on your own and move out. I understand you want to use your money to get a gaming PC, but it would probably be better for your mental health, self esteem and relationship with your parents to put the money to a deposit on renting a flat instead - or a room in a shared flat. If you do not want your father to be imposing his rules, the simple answer is to strike out on your own as you are an adult now.

    I understand you do not feel supported and that you cannot catch a break, but actually he sorted you out with a job for $16 per hour, which is a very decent wage for someone of your age, and from his perspective you are tossing it off by choosing not to go to work because you are tired - not sick - because you were not responsible enough to maintain a reasonable sleep schedule, knowing that you had a job to go to. If it is a company he works for, and he vouched for you, it is risking his reputation and good standing as he got you the job, and he can hardly be blamed for wanting to distance himself professionally from further damage.

    I sincerely hope you do not find yourself homeless. I think that it would mitigate the damage you have done at work if you called in and spoke to your boss, as simply not showing up is far more likely to get you fired than calling in and explaining.

    If you are able to retrieve your rent, and have enough put aside apart from rent to buy a new gaming PC, then you are lucky enough to have enough to rent a room - check out http://ca.easyroommate.com/ - lots of places here to live for less than you say you are paying your dad, and no need to worry about his rules etc.

    Hope things work out for you - good luck and stay safe.
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