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Just Can’t

Gonz

Under Cardiac Arrest
#1
Other people move on, I know they do, but I don’t know how they do. The angry ugly spiteful side of me says “well maybe they didn’t love their person as much” but that’s probably not it.

Picture the person you love most in the world; someone who loves you as much as you love them. Maybe it’s your partner or your best friend or your kid or whoever. Imagine going up to them and saying “I don’t need you anymore” and then turning around and walking out of their life forever. Imagine the pain on their face, how much it would hurt to do that to them and to yourself, and the hole it would leave inside of you.

When people tell me I need to move on, that’s what they’re telling me to do.

In three days it will have been three years, but it feels like it’s been maybe three weeks to three months at most.

Imagine if someone broke your knees with a hammer, then told you to run a marathon. Or cut off your fingers with garden shears, then told you to play the piano. That’s what it’s like to take her away from me, then tell me to go live my life.

I can’t fucking do it.
 
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Sunspots

★☆ Every Kind of Awesome ☆★
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#4
Hey Gonz. I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, it must be hell *hugI wish I had some inspiring piece of wisdom or advice to help you. What you had together sounded so special *hug
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#5
I can only begin to understand how you feel as I have watched my father deal with the loss of my mom. Sounds like you also lost your soulmate and just hope that the memories and experiences you shared fill your heart mind and soul and bring you some comfort.
 

1964dodge

When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#6
you should move on when you're ready. but that doesn't mean to move away. she will always be in your heart. and if you eventually move on or stay alone I hope you find peace. my heart goes out to you...mike...*console*hug
 

JDot

SF's Official Sone
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#7
Everyone grieves differently and at a different pace. Each person's relationship with the departed is different. But nobody should tell you to move on. You shouldn't put a deadline on your grief. It will take as long as it takes. And your feelings about this person are yours. You have the right to feel whatever you're feeling.
 
#8
Picture the person you love most in the world; someone who loves you as much as you love them. Maybe it’s your partner or your best friend or your kid or whoever. Imagine going up to them and saying “I don’t need you anymore” and then turning around and walking out of their life forever. Imagine the pain on their face, how much it would hurt to do that to them and to yourself, and the hole it would leave inside of you.

When people tell me I need to move on, that’s what they’re telling me to do
It sounds like you see having any happiness in life without your wife as being a betrayal. I think the opposite is true though.

She never would have wanted this for you.

It's understandable that it's too hard and too painful for you to stop grieving. People shouldn't be telling you to move on.

But your wife would still want you to be as happy as you could be
 

Gonz

Under Cardiac Arrest
#9
It’s been 3 years, as of today. People say it’s suppossed to get easier with time, but it doesn’t. There is something fundamentally wrong with a world that doesn’t have her in it.
 

Lilmeowmeow

Meows when hungry
#11
It’s been 3 years, as of today. People say it’s suppossed to get easier with time, but it doesn’t. There is something fundamentally wrong with a world that doesn’t have her in it.
its cause you would still wanna be loyal to her and thats love but its also love that your wife should lets you be happy too, kitty thinks. *hug
 

1964dodge

When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#12
It’s been 3 years, as of today. People say it’s suppossed to get easier with time, but it doesn’t. There is something fundamentally wrong with a world that doesn’t have her in it.
i'm sorry for your loss @Gonz I hope you can make it through the day without too much pain. we are here for you..mike...*console*hug
 

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