hello, i haven't written in here in a while. i've gotten better. my ocd isn't as disabling anymore. i can actually take care of myself and go to class. however, i've just been feeling depressed lately... it starts making think about why i'm even here, and if i should just die already. but part of me also just wants to suffer and keep hold of these suicidal thoughts because i know that the more i think about it, the more i convinced i am to just go through with it. i also just get tired a lot lately. it's hard just to go to class. my other issue is that i discovered something about my gender and sexuality that i've been suppressing for a long time, but then i'm confused all over again. i realized how much i'd like to be more masculine, so i tried taping my chest with kt tape (i can't bind for medical issues). but the taping didn't work either, so now i'm left with this chest unless i choose to get top surgery, but sometimes i do like my chest, so i don't know what to do. anyway, i just can't really do much these days. i think i just want to make myself suffer to reach the point where i'm ready to reach the end. thanks to anyone who's read this.
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Empathy Only just feeling depressed
- Thread starter meow124
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