Just went through a nervous breakdown

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by jazzmeister, Oct 7, 2013.

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  1. jazzmeister

    jazzmeister Active Member


    I kind of need advice on this.

    You see I work in a company far from home but I take public transportation to and from the company as it is the most cost efficient arrangement. The drawback is I am only home for dinner and sleeping. The work is very stressful and the schedule has me working 6 days a week with my day off being laundry day. This leaves me no time to see my friends.

    Recently I resigned and am waiting for my last day in the company to pass then I can start in my new company.

    However, all of the plans I had for my turnover period has been wrecked. This left me with so much stress that none of coworkers seem to care.

    I was at my limit until I was scolded by one of our sales officers for something that I did not do. He apologized a few minutes later for it but that event through off the edge and just broke down and cried at my desk.

    After that, every thing seemed to change from then. My coworkers who knew I had a breakdown are now more conscious with helping me in my work but I'm still left to handle with the management who is still as demanding as ever. My family seems to be more strict than before; treating me more of a child than they did before. They keep telling me to keep my emotions in check and that I should learn to say "no" and defend myself in work.

    Somehow it only makes me sadder and angrier at others and myself when I hear that. I don't refuse work because it makes me feel needed. I try not to ask for help as I think it makes me a burden to others and I have to prove myself that I can do things on my own. However, it does increase the stress load I already have.

    Now I don't feel like doing much, not going to work, don't smile as much. I just feel lonely like no one gets what I just went through. Normally during these times, I think about suicide as well but am really scared of it.

    I'm asking for advice on how to recover from this state.
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi i am glad you joined this community. i think its a good one. I am sorry things are so hard for you right now. Have you considered counselling? Sometimes that can be really good to do. And now you will have this community here. But irl it might be an excellent idea to find some counselling. To help you recover. Congratulations on the new job :)
  3. jazzmeister

    jazzmeister Active Member


    Actually before, I already considered counselling. My new employer labeled me as... Psychologically unstable in a way that I get hit by negative remarks hard and take a long time to recover. Also they say I'm too sympathetic and submissive. After that, my family and I thought it would be good to find a psychiatrist.

    I found one in our town. However, he only has appointments on weekdays and at the time, I didn't have money to spare.

    Hopefully, I can get an appointment on the week off before I start my new job.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Does your job not have coverage for a psychologist someone you can see in evening or weekends Does not matter hun how others see you what matters is that you receive the help you need to feel in control again. I too broke down at work and i finally resigned therapy does help to regain some confidence some strength back Nice to see you reaching out here too hugs
  5. jazzmeister

    jazzmeister Active Member

    No, my current and new jobs don't cover psychiatric therapy. I don't think any company in our country has coverage for that.

    Hopefully, I do get back some confidence and gain more from therapy. It's hard to get back what you never had in the first place. Years of being bullied and being overshadowed as the middle child does that to you I guess.
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    in the country in which I live, we can see psychiatrist only for medications. And then we can work regularly with a psycologist or other kind of psychotherapist who is not a psychiatrist.

    I think the most important thing is to find someone to see. and then yes, setting up that apt with a psychiatrist will be good as well. To be assessed for medications. The combination of both therapy and medicaiton can be very good when needed. But definatly psychotherapy with someone. I am very glad you are reaching out for help locally. Motivation is so important. and you DO have that. Glad you are here as well !
  7. jazzmeister

    jazzmeister Active Member

    Is having a nervous breakdown due to work normal? I don't really know of anyone else who went through the same for the same reason that's why I feel like a weaker person compared to my colleagues back in college; especially those who work in companies in the same area as my soon-to-be-ex-employer.

    The thing is, my old job was a company in our country's version of Wall Street. Quitting a company in that area makes me think that I am inadequate. I'd like to think that I was just too ambitious to have my first job there but it also makes me think about what my old professor said.

    He said that I was only allowed to graduate from college out of pity: so my parents wouldn't have to pay tuition for another semester. Thus saying that I don't really deserve my degree. Somehow it makes me feel like I'm bringing the reputations of my family and university down.
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am going to answer this question according to a specific possibility. It is not yet understood or shared by many. and I understand that.

    I personally think that Wall street, as it exists today is an example of false power. There is a false belief that money equals power. I believe this is not real power.

    Those who follow the dreams and values set by their parents and the immediate society around them may do well. If this is meant for them. However there are those who are meant for something different. Just as powerful, sometimes even more powerful, in a different way. Often this goes unacknowledged because their true gifts are so different from those of their family and surrounding society, are not within the spectrum they can recognize. They value a specific kind of, what they view as success. And cannot see value in other gifts a child or student, young adult, and then adult may have.

    If your very gifts were never allowed to flourish. But instead you conformed to a concept of success that was never really you. If you convinced even yourself from an early age that success fit in a specific box that never could have been you, then yes, you would be vulnerable to not doing well in school, and having a breakdown at a stage of your life. Because you would be trying to live a life that is not who you are. Too difficult in every way. This can surely cause feelings of wanting to die. Because these people are not living their authentic life.

    I am not saying this describes you or your circumstances. Of course I cannot know if it does, or does not. But it is one instance of why someone could not do well in school , and have a breakdown because of work. Fitting into a box that has nothing to do with who someone is, is an endeavor that would, at best bring unhappiness and pain. And yes, a breakdown. For such people, it then is important to separate from the judgements of what society thinks of as successful. And to look into their heart and very soul to find out what it is that they really want, and I might say need, to do. Where their gifts lay.

    Again, I am not saying this is applicable information for you. But if it is, then I wanted to offer the explanation. There is the story of the ugly duckling. All along there were judgements by the ducklings of this odd duck. A duck who looked and acted so different. The duckling itself felt so different and less than its duck family. Eventually the ugly duckling found out it was a swan. I hope that all people who have tried to fit into a box that is not them, can feel free to find the swan they were always meant to be.
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